Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
What did the pastry chef say to his unsupportive father?
“Donut hole me back.”
What do you call it when you order the same donut every day?
A do-rut!
What kind of donuts can fly?
The plain ones.
What are strange donuts made out of?
Weird-doughs.
What do you call a cute donut?
A-dough-able.
What do donuts wear to weddings? Tuxe-doughs!
What’s the best thing to put in a donut?
Your teeth.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts!
Why do golfers love donuts?
Always a hole-in-one!
A cream-filled donut and an eclair decided to get a divorce.
It’s a sad story, but the real victims are their children. They’re in for a grueling custardy battle.
What do donuts think about donut puns? They donut like them!
What did Yoda say when he turned a patron away for ordering a pie?
“Dough. Or doughnut. There is no pie.”
Why did the clock in the donut shop run slow?
It always went back four seconds
What’s a donut’s favorite lullaby?
“Sprinkle, Sprinkle Little Star.”
I allow myself only one donut per year.
This morning I had 433 B.C., 1731, and 1952.
Did you hear the joke about the donut? Probably not, it was crummy!
Ever heard of French Donuts?
They’re the Beigne of my existence.
Why do donuts hate puns so much?
They donut like to joke around!
What did an angry donut say to his wife?
Donut talk to me.
Donut even think about taking another donut!
What kind of evidence can a donut not take to trial?
Anecdoughtal evidence.
Why couldn’t the donut reach enlightenment? Because it was already holy.
What do you call a pastry that is a priest? A Holy Donut!
The arrogant baker declared, “You’ll never hear a complaint about my doughnuts outside this shop window.”
The customer agreed, “It must be the double glazing.”
When do bakers stop making donuts?
When they get tired of the hole thing.
I’m opening a grocery store that specializes in Swiss cheese and donuts.
I’m calling it Hole Foods.
Q: What’s a donut’s favorite drink?
A: Hole-y water!
What do you get when you cross Frosty with a baker?
Frosty the Dough-Man!
What do you call a pastry that is a priest?
A Holy Donut!
What’s the National Donut Day theme song?
“Donut Stop Believing.”
Why do donuts make terrible teachers?
They’re always glazing over the important stuff.
Where was the first donut cooked?
In Greece.
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his donut?
He was stuffed!
What’s the healthiest part of a donut?
The middle.
What is a donut’s favorite day of the week?
Fry-day.
Why did the donut go to a therapist?
He felt empty inside.
What type of window do donuts prefer in their homes?
Double glazed.
Why did the donut go to the doctor?
He was feeling crumby.
What is the only thing that can cure a sick do-nut?
An antidought!
Why did the donut start going to therapy? It couldn’t get over the feeling that something was missing — it never felt hole!
How can you spot a fashionista donut?
They’re into all the latest glazes.
What do you call a Boston creme donut that’s a straight-A student?
The creme of the crop.
Knock knock!
Who’s there? Doughnut. Doughnut Who? Doughnut forget to close the door!
How busy was the donuts day? It was jam packed!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut ask, it’s a secret!
Where’s a donut’s favorite vacation spot?
The Sahara dessert!
How does Bob Marley like his donuts?
Wi’ jam in.
Why did the baker quit making donuts?
Because he was fed up with the hole business!
What kind of donuts fly? Plain ones!