A cream-filled donut and an eclair decided to get a divorce.
It’s a sad story, but the real victims are their children. They’re in for a grueling custardy battle.
What was the donut’s least favorite part of its day?
I’m not really sure; it glazed over that part.
What kind of evidence can a donut not take to trial?
Anecdoughtal evidence.
Knock, knock
Who’s there? CIA CIA, who? CI ate your last doughnut!
What is the only thing that can cure a sick do-nut?
An antidought!
Why do donuts hate puns so much?
They donut like to joke around!
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his donut?
He was stuffed!
What do you get when you cross Frosty with a baker?
Frosty the Dough-Man!
What kind of donuts fly? Plain ones!
What’s the healthiest part of a donut?
The middle.
What do you call a Boston creme donut that’s a straight-A student?
The creme of the crop.
Why did the donut go to the dentist? It needed a filling!"
What’s a donut’s favorite lullaby?
“Sprinkle, Sprinkle Little Star.”
Knock knock!
Who’s there? Doughnut. Doughnut Who? Doughnut forget to close the door!
Why did the clock in the donut shop run slow?
It always went back four seconds
What do donuts think about donut puns? They donut like them!
What do you call a pastry that is a priest? A Holy Donut!
Why do donuts make terrible teachers?
They’re always glazing over the important stuff.
What’s the best thing to put in a donut?
Your teeth.
What do you call it when you order the same donut every day?
A do-rut!
What type of window do donuts prefer in their homes?
Double glazed.
What do donuts wear to weddings? Tuxe-doughs!
How can you spot a fashionista donut?
They’re into all the latest glazes.
What did the pastry chef say to his unsupportive father?
“Donut hole me back.”
Why did the baker quit making donuts?
Because he was fed up with the hole business!
Why do golfers love donuts?
Always a hole-in-one!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut ask, it’s a secret!
The arrogant baker declared, “You’ll never hear a complaint about my doughnuts outside this shop window.”
The customer agreed, “It must be the double glazing.”
Why did the donut go to the doctor?
He was feeling crumby.
I’m opening a grocery store that specializes in Swiss cheese and donuts.
I’m calling it Hole Foods.
Donut even think about taking another donut!
Why did the donut start going to therapy? It couldn’t get over the feeling that something was missing — it never felt hole!
What happened to the renegade donuts?
They went down in a glaze of glory.
Ever heard of French Donuts?
They’re the Beigne of my existence.
When do bakers stop making donuts?
When they get tired of the hole thing.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
What kind of donuts can fly?
The plain ones.
What do you call a cute donut?
A-dough-able.
What’s the National Donut Day theme song?
“Donut Stop Believing.”
Why couldn’t the donut reach enlightenment? Because it was already holy.
Q: What’s a donut’s favorite drink?
A: Hole-y water!
Where was the first donut cooked?
In Greece.
I allow myself only one donut per year.
This morning I had 433 B.C., 1731, and 1952.
How does Bob Marley like his donuts?
Wi’ jam in.
Did you hear the joke about the donut? Probably not, it was crummy!
What did Yoda say when he turned a patron away for ordering a pie?
“Dough. Or doughnut. There is no pie.”
Why did the croissants take the donuts and bagels to Disneyland?
They thought it would be fun for the hole family.
Why did the donut go to a therapist?
He felt empty inside.
How busy was the donuts day? It was jam packed!
What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts!