The man next to her on the train spilled coffee all over her shirt. She responded by showing him dis-stain.
Italians are so good at making coffee because they naturally like to espresso themselves.
How are guys just like coffee?
The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
What's the best Beatles' song to play at a coffee shop? Latte Be.
What did the two coffee lovers say on their wedding day? We were meant to bean together.
Avoid discussing coffee in sensitive company. It can make for a heated and strong debate.
How is divorce like espresso? It's bitter and expensive.
What did the coffee lover name his son?
Joe, obviously.
What's a coffee's favorite karaoke song? Hit Me With your Best Shot.
Last night I was kidnapped by Aliens. They forced to work providing teas and coffees on their spaceship.
I told one alien that I couldn't find any milk. He said "In space, no one can. Here, use cream."
How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.
And what's its favorite Bob Marley song? Don't Worry, Be Frappé.
What did the coffees say before their night out? Let's stir up some trouble.
What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? You mocha me crazy.
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
What's a barista's favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
What happens when two coffee lovers disagree on their favorite roast? It turns into a heated debate.
And what should every barista say to their customers? Have a brew-tiful day.
The worst type of criminal is he who mugs other people's coffee.
How does the serial killer like his coffee?
How he likes his women—all ground up.
She'll take whatever beans necessary to get her daily cup of coffee. Whatever. Beans. Necessary.
The hipster burnt his tongue. He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
What did the caffeine addict name his cats?
Cream and Sugar.
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
How did the coffee show its love? It said, "Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me."
A man went to his psychiatrist and complained that every time he drink coffee, he would get a stabbing pain in his right eye.
The psychiatrist said, “Well, have you tried taking the spoon out?”
You may want to seek help if you feel despresso when you don't have coffee.
You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
What do you do when your partner drinks your coffee? I don't know, but that's certainly grounds for divorce.
What's a barista's favorite morning mantra? Rise and grind.
How do you know if you’ve had enough coffee?
You channel surf faster without the remote.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged.
How did Henry VIII like his coffee? Decap.
What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!
Why are men like coffee? The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
What did the coffee say to its date? Hey there, hot stuff.
She was a little hesitant to try the new caramel flavor, but she decided to give it a shot, anyway.
What did the horny woman say about her coffee?
That coffee’s not the only thing that’s hot and wet this morning.
She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you've been there before? Déja-brew.
What do chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?
They’re only good if they’re rich!
What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
Everyone makes fun of him for using old coffee, but he insists it has the greatest sedimental value.
The pot of coffee he just made is basically break fluid.
I do some of my best thinking over coffee. I tend to have a latte on my mind.
Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?
He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
Why was the coffee-shop worker fired? He kept showing up in a Tea-shirt.