What's a coffee's favorite karaoke song? Hit Me With your Best Shot.
How did the coffee show its love? It said, "Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me."
What's a barista's favorite morning mantra? Rise and grind.
How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
What did the coffee lover name his son?
Joe, obviously.
What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you've been there before? Déja-brew.
How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.
She'll take whatever beans necessary to get her daily cup of coffee. Whatever. Beans. Necessary.
Why was the coffee-shop worker fired? He kept showing up in a Tea-shirt.
What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!
The worst type of criminal is he who mugs other people's coffee.
What did the horny woman say about her coffee?
That coffee’s not the only thing that’s hot and wet this morning.
You may want to seek help if you feel despresso when you don't have coffee.
And what should every barista say to their customers? Have a brew-tiful day.
How did Henry VIII like his coffee? Decap.
She was a little hesitant to try the new caramel flavor, but she decided to give it a shot, anyway.
What's a barista's favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
Don't talk to him before he's had his espresso or he'll lose his tamper.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged.
Why did the coffee call the police? Because it was mugged.
Avoid discussing coffee in sensitive company. It can make for a heated and strong debate.
What happens when two coffee lovers disagree on their favorite roast? It turns into a heated debate.
What did the coffee say to its date? Hey there, hot stuff.
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
What’s the opposite of coffee?
Sneezy.
Why are men like coffee? The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
What did the two coffee lovers say on their wedding day? We were meant to bean together.