How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? You mocha me crazy.
You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
How is coffee better than a woman?
It goes down way easier.
What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
How did Henry VIII like his coffee? Decap.
I do some of my best thinking over coffee. I tend to have a latte on my mind.
What happens when two coffee lovers disagree on their favorite roast? It turns into a heated debate.
What do chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?
They’re only good if they’re rich!
Italians are so good at making coffee because they naturally like to espresso themselves.
She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.
Everyone makes fun of him for using old coffee, but he insists it has the greatest sedimental value.
Why are men like coffee? The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
What's a barista's favorite morning mantra? Rise and grind.
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
How are guys just like coffee?
The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
What did the caffeine addict name his cats?
Cream and Sugar.
What do you do when your partner drinks your coffee? I don't know, but that's certainly grounds for divorce.
Why did the coffee call the police? Because it was mugged.
And what's its favorite Bob Marley song? Don't Worry, Be Frappé.
What's a coffee's favorite karaoke song? Hit Me With your Best Shot.
What’s the difference between a Starbucks latte and a whore?
Nothing, they both suck and empty your wallet!
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged.
Avoid discussing coffee in sensitive company. It can make for a heated and strong debate.
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
What did the two coffee lovers say on their wedding day? We were meant to bean together.
You may want to seek help if you feel despresso when you don't have coffee.
What did the coffee lover name his son?
Joe, obviously.