What did the coffees say before their night out? Let's stir up some trouble.
What did the horny woman say about her coffee?
That coffee’s not the only thing that’s hot and wet this morning.
She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
And what's its favorite Bob Marley song? Don't Worry, Be Frappé.
The man next to her on the train spilled coffee all over her shirt. She responded by showing him dis-stain.
She was a little hesitant to try the new caramel flavor, but she decided to give it a shot, anyway.
How does the serial killer like his coffee?
How he likes his women—all ground up.
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? You mocha me crazy.
What do you do when your partner drinks your coffee? I don't know, but that's certainly grounds for divorce.
How are guys just like coffee?
The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
A man went to his psychiatrist and complained that every time he drink coffee, he would get a stabbing pain in his right eye.
The psychiatrist said, “Well, have you tried taking the spoon out?”
What's a coffee's favorite spell? Espresso Patronum.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.
What's a barista's favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
How do you know if you’ve had enough coffee?
You channel surf faster without the remote.
Italians are so good at making coffee because they naturally like to espresso themselves.
What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!
What’s the difference between a Starbucks latte and a whore?
Nothing, they both suck and empty your wallet!
What's a coffee's favorite karaoke song? Hit Me With your Best Shot.
Why did the coffee call the police? Because it was mugged.
What did the coffee say to its date? Hey there, hot stuff.
How did Henry VIII like his coffee? Decap.
The hipster burnt his tongue. He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.
You may want to seek help if you feel despresso when you don't have coffee.
What's a barista's favorite morning mantra? Rise and grind.
She'll take whatever beans necessary to get her daily cup of coffee. Whatever. Beans. Necessary.
How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you've been there before? Déja-brew.