She was a little hesitant to try the new caramel flavor, but she decided to give it a shot, anyway.
I do some of my best thinking over coffee. I tend to have a latte on my mind.
How did the coffee show its love? It said, "Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me."
What’s the opposite of coffee?
Sneezy.
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
How did Henry VIII like his coffee? Decap.
She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
What did the coffee lover name his son?
Joe, obviously.
How are guys just like coffee?
The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
And what's its favorite Bob Marley song? Don't Worry, Be Frappé.
What do you do when your partner drinks your coffee? I don't know, but that's certainly grounds for divorce.
Why are men like coffee? The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
The hipster burnt his tongue. He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
Italians are so good at making coffee because they naturally like to espresso themselves.
Everyone makes fun of him for using old coffee, but he insists it has the greatest sedimental value.
What's the best Beatles' song to play at a coffee shop? Latte Be.
Why did the coffee call the police? Because it was mugged.
How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.
Don't talk to him before he's had his espresso or he'll lose his tamper.
What do you call a cow who’s just given birth?
De-calf-inated!
What do chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?
They’re only good if they’re rich!
What did the caffeine addict name his cats?
Cream and Sugar.
What's a barista's favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
A man went to his psychiatrist and complained that every time he drink coffee, he would get a stabbing pain in his right eye.
The psychiatrist said, “Well, have you tried taking the spoon out?”
What did the two coffee lovers say on their wedding day? We were meant to bean together.
What did the coffee say to its date? Hey there, hot stuff.
The man next to her on the train spilled coffee all over her shirt. She responded by showing him dis-stain.
What's a coffee's favorite karaoke song? Hit Me With your Best Shot.
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
Why was the coffee-shop worker fired? He kept showing up in a Tea-shirt.
What’s the difference between a Starbucks latte and a whore?
Nothing, they both suck and empty your wallet!
Last night I was kidnapped by Aliens. They forced to work providing teas and coffees on their spaceship.
I told one alien that I couldn't find any milk. He said "In space, no one can. Here, use cream."
What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you've been there before? Déja-brew.
She'll take whatever beans necessary to get her daily cup of coffee. Whatever. Beans. Necessary.
What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? You mocha me crazy.
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
How is coffee better than a woman?
It goes down way easier.
What's a coffee's favorite spell? Espresso Patronum.
How is divorce like espresso? It's bitter and expensive.
How does the serial killer like his coffee?
How he likes his women—all ground up.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged.
You may want to seek help if you feel despresso when you don't have coffee.
What happens when two coffee lovers disagree on their favorite roast? It turns into a heated debate.
What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!
What did the horny woman say about her coffee?
That coffee’s not the only thing that’s hot and wet this morning.
What's a barista's favorite morning mantra? Rise and grind.
What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!