Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
What do you call a cheese that is an alcoholic? Livarot
How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
What cheese do beavers like? eDam
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
Why did the parmesan swipe left on the cheddar?
His pick-up line was too cheesey.
What do you call cheese who attends art openings?
Cultured.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
What do you tell a cheese going through a hard time?
Ricotta get through this.
What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?
Brie mine.
What kind of cheese makes the best music?
Brieoncé.
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
What cheese cries the most?
Babybel.
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite Village People song?
Nacho Man.
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
What wisdom did the daddy cheese pass down to his son?
A curd in the hand is worth two in the bush.
How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?
Caerphilly.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
What kind of cheese do alcoholics eat?
Livarot.
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
Where should you call if you find a bad cheese shop?
The feta business bureau.
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
What was the cheese’s strategy when it ran for president?
Make America grate again.
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?
Limb-burger.
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? De-brie went everywhere!
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
Which is the most religious cheese? Swiss, because it is holy.
What is a basketball players favorite kind of cheese? Swish cheese!
What did one cheddar cheese say to the other cheddar cheese at prom?
Looking sharp!