Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
What drives cheese crazy?
That everyone around them is crackers.
What pickup line can you use to pick up a cheese lover?
“Are you cheddar? ‘Cause you’re lookin’ sharp!”
Did you hear what happened to the cheese after its breakup?
It got provolonely.
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
What kind of cheese protects a castle?
Moat-zarella.
What did the commedian say after after a bad set?
That crowd was laughtose intolerant.
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party?
In queso emergency.
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
What wisdom did the daddy cheese pass down to his son?
A curd in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Did you hear about the guy who had an addiction to cheddar cheese?
It was only mild.
How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?
Caerphilly.
Where should you call if you find a bad cheese shop?
The feta business bureau.
What kind of cheese makes the best music?
Brieoncé.
What do you call a socialite made of cheese?
Paris Stilton.
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
What was the cheese’s strategy when it ran for president?
Make America grate again.
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
What cheese cries the most?
Babybel.
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
What did one cheddar cheese say to the other cheddar cheese at prom?
Looking sharp!
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
What is a cheese lover’s favorite Village People song?
Nacho Man.
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
What kind of cheese to beavers eat?
Edam.
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
Why did the parmesan swipe left on the cheddar?
His pick-up line was too cheesey.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?
The curdles.
What does a cheese lover say when someone keeps messing around with them?
“You gouda brie kidding!”
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?
“You make me melt.”
What did the aged cheddar say when his mom told him he couldn’t see a movie that was rated R?
“I’m mature for my age.”
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
What do you call it when a cheese goes #2?
Fondue-due.
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that's all up in your face? Too close for comfort food.