Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
What does a cheese lover say when someone keeps messing around with them?
“You gouda brie kidding!”
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? "That's the most violent book I've ever read."
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
What is a cannibal's favourite cheese? Limburger
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
What did the cheese say to the other cheese? I smell something swiss-picious!
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
What do you call it when a cheese goes #2?
Fondue-due.
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
Why did the wheel act so bossy? Cause he was the "Big Cheese."
What was the cheese’s strategy when it ran for president?
Make America grate again.
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party?
In queso emergency.
Why did the parmesan swipe left on the cheddar?
His pick-up line was too cheesey.
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that's all up in your face? Too close for comfort food.
What did the commedian say after after a bad set?
That crowd was laughtose intolerant.
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
What kind of cheese do alcoholics eat?
Livarot.
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
Why do cheeses make bad musicians?
They’re always sharp.
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
Did you hear what happened to the cheese after its breakup?
It got provolonely.
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
What do you call cheese who attends art openings?
Cultured.
What group of cheese has been known to fly? Curds of prey!
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
What hotel do cheese lover’s stay in?
The Stilton.
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
What drives cheese crazy?
That everyone around them is crackers.
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.