Where should you call if you find a bad cheese shop?
The feta business bureau.
Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
What do you call a cheese that is an alcoholic? Livarot
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
What kind of cheese to beavers eat?
Edam.
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
What did the commedian say after after a bad set?
That crowd was laughtose intolerant.
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?
Caerphilly.
What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that's all up in your face? Too close for comfort food.
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
Did you hear about the cheese shop that was destroyed by a tornado?
All that’s left is da brie.
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
Which is the most religious cheese? Swiss, because it is holy.
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
What cheese should you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone.
Why doesn't cheddar like to party with crackers? Someone always cuts the cheese.
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? "That's the most violent book I've ever read."
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
What do you call a socialite made of cheese?
Paris Stilton.
Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
What does a cheese lover say when someone keeps messing around with them?
“You gouda brie kidding!”
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
What pickup line can you use to pick up a cheese lover?
“Are you cheddar? ‘Cause you’re lookin’ sharp!”
What is a cheese lover’s favorite musician?
Mozart-arella.
What was the cheese’s strategy when it ran for president?
Make America grate again.
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
What kind of cheese protects a castle?
Moat-zarella.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
What hotel do cheese lover’s stay in?
The Stilton.
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party?
In queso emergency.
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.