Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
What do you call it when a cheese goes #2?
Fondue-due.
What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?
“You make me melt.”
Where should you call if you find a bad cheese shop?
The feta business bureau.
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
What do you tell a cheese going through a hard time?
Ricotta get through this.
What wisdom did the daddy cheese pass down to his son?
A curd in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
Did you hear about the guy who had an addiction to cheddar cheese?
It was only mild.
Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite musician?
Mozart-arella.
How do you get a mouse to smile? Say cheese!
What do you call a socialite made of cheese?
Paris Stilton.
Why did the parmesan swipe left on the cheddar?
His pick-up line was too cheesey.
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
What cheese do beavers like? eDam
Did you hear what happened to the cheese after its breakup?
It got provolonely.
What pickup line can you use to pick up a cheese lover?
“Are you cheddar? ‘Cause you’re lookin’ sharp!”
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
What do you call cheese that is sad? Blue cheese.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
What is a basketball players favorite kind of cheese? Swish cheese!
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
What do you call a cheese that is an alcoholic? Livarot
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
What hotel do cheese lover’s stay in?
The Stilton.
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that's all up in your face? Too close for comfort food.
Did you hear about the cheese shop that was destroyed by a tornado?
All that’s left is da brie.
What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? "That's the most violent book I've ever read."
What did the aged cheddar say when his mom told him he couldn’t see a movie that was rated R?
“I’m mature for my age.”
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
What is a cannibal's favourite cheese? Limburger
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian