How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?
Brie mine.
Did you hear about the cheese shop that was destroyed by a tornado?
All that’s left is da brie.
What is a cannibal's favourite cheese? Limburger
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
What do you call a cheese that is an alcoholic? Livarot
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
What did the aged cheddar say when his mom told him he couldn’t see a movie that was rated R?
“I’m mature for my age.”
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
Where should you call if you find a bad cheese shop?
The feta business bureau.
What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? "That's the most violent book I've ever read."
What was the cheese’s strategy when it ran for president?
Make America grate again.
Did you hear what happened to the cheese after its breakup?
It got provolonely.
What do you call a socialite made of cheese?
Paris Stilton.
What do you tell a cheese going through a hard time?
Ricotta get through this.
Why did the wheel act so bossy? Cause he was the "Big Cheese."
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
Which is the most religious cheese? Swiss, because it is holy.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
What group of cheese has been known to fly? Curds of prey!
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
Why do cheeses make bad musicians?
They’re always sharp.
What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?
“You make me melt.”
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
Did you hear about the guy who had an addiction to cheddar cheese?
It was only mild.
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan
What do you call cheese that is sad? Blue cheese.
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!