It’s too bad that bread puns are always so crumby. Mmm . . . crumbs.
How does bread win over friends?
“You can crust me.”
Do you know what you call it when you place beef between two slices of bread? You get a bull-only sandwich.
What did one bread say to another after a long day? Don’t worry because tomorrow will be butter.
What did the mother bread tell her baby roll? You really are the apple of my rye.
How do you make dog bread?
Just use collie flour.
What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend?
You deserve butter.
Why does bread hate hot weather?
It just feels too toasty.
You knead me in your loaf. This one kind of works, but loaf is just a little too different from life.
That wide loaf has a decent bread-th. Nice.
hat’s the most sophisticated kind of bread?
The upper crust.
The baker just felt this incredible knead to make bread. That’s certainly the truth.
Why are bread puns the greatest? They never grow mold.
Did you hear what happened with the sourdough bread? It really rose to the occasion today.
What did the banker want from the baker?
To pump her nickels.
Do you know how to get a raise at the bread factory? Try buttering up to the boss.
You better watch out before you play a game with any bread? Baguette ready to lose.
The bag of flour was so confused.He thought that he saw his friend the loaf yeast-erday.
Why did the man keep punching his doughy friend?
To get a rise out of him!
They say that the local baker is the breadwinner of his family. True enough.
When I tried taking a picture of my bread load, it came out grainy. I think that that is a common problem.
Did you know that bread that you make into buns is always relaxed? Yes, they just like to roll with it.
How does bread woo a lover?
With lots of flours.
Young Billy had to mail a loaf of bread at the toast office today.
You knead me in your loaf.
Why did the baker keep putting too much flour in the bread? Because he was a gluten for punishment.
How do you make dog bread? You use collie flour.
The cheap baker only paid his employees a flourly rate. Cheapskate!
I’m a wrapper, so I get a lot of dough. A bread wrapper, that is.
Thank you for helping me. Biscuit’s the yeast I could do.
I don’t want naan of that. Neither do I!
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.
Why did the butter keep talking? Because he felt like he was really on a roll.
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
What’s the worst thing about a bread pun?
It tends to get stale.
Did you hear? The pilgrims rode the May-Flour so that they could bake bread as they went to America. This is a cute option.
Why were the kids throwing flour and bread at their school? They wanted to rise to the occasion.
They fired the loaf of bread from her job. They say that she kept breaking down and would rye on the job.
Did you hear about the bread party? It’s scone be a lot of fun, and wheat love for you to join us.
How do you get a raise at the bread factory?
Butter up your boss.
Did you hear the little loaves playing hide-and-seek earlier? They kept yelling, “Bready or not, here I come!”
Why did the two slices of bread disappear in the middle of the night? They wanted to e-loaf together.
What did one slice of bread say to the other before the race?
You’re toast!
Why was the bread actor so unhappy?
She lost out on a juicy roll.
What did the toast say to the psychic?
You bread my mind!
Did you hear about the sign on the bakery that got everyone talking? It said “I knead dough to live.”
"Are you sure about this?"
"Crust me, I'm on a roll."
The young woman decided to become a professional baker. She realized that it could help her earn her bread and butter.
In the 1970s, hippies loved going to a Grateful Dead concert and getting toasted. That’s certainly the truth.
Did you hear about the man who quit his job at a bakery? They said that it left him loathe of bread.