hat’s the most sophisticated kind of bread?
The upper crust.
What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend?
You deserve butter.
Did you hear what happened with the sourdough bread? It really rose to the occasion today.
Do you know why bread hates warm weather? It just makes things too toasty.
How do you make dog bread? You use collie flour.
Young Billy had to mail a loaf of bread at the toast office today.
It’s too bad the man couldn’t quit his job at the bakery. He really kneaded the dough.
They fired the loaf of bread from her job. They say that she kept breaking down and would rye on the job.
Why did the two slices of bread disappear in the middle of the night? They wanted to e-loaf together.
That wide loaf has a decent bread-th. Nice.
Why does bread hate hot weather?
It just feels too toasty.
Did you hear that the diet clinic was doing great business? They say that it’d really take your breadth away.
When I tried taking a picture of my bread load, it came out grainy. I think that that is a common problem.
What does bread say to a friend after doing them a favor?
It’s the yeast I could do.
What did the toast say to the psychic?
You bread my mind!
Why was the slice of bread upset with her husband?
He told her she was being too kneady.
Why did the baker keep putting too much flour in the bread? Because he was a gluten for punishment.
The cheap baker only paid his employees a flourly rate. Cheapskate!
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
It’s too bad that bread puns are always so crumby. Mmm . . . crumbs.
Why was the baker in a serious panic? He thought that he was in a loaf or death situation.
You better watch out before you play a game with any bread? Baguette ready to lose.
You knead me in your loaf.
Did you hear the little loaves playing hide-and-seek earlier? They kept yelling, “Bready or not, here I come!”
The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard that they wanted to grow mold together.
The mother helped her child bake bread because it was a labor of loaf. True enough.
Did you hear about the man who quit his job at a bakery? They said that it left him loathe of bread.
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.
In the 1970s, hippies loved going to a Grateful Dead concert and getting toasted. That’s certainly the truth.
What did the mother bread tell her baby roll? You really are the apple of my rye.
Do you know how to get a raise at the bread factory? Try buttering up to the boss.
A new bakery in town began ding extremely well. They said that business was definitely on the rise.
The tiny bag of flour got in trouble, so his mother sent him to bread early. He kneaded to be punished.
The manager at the bread store told the baker that he had to stop loafing around. The baker said that it was his job.
They say that the local baker is the breadwinner of his family. True enough.
What was the main job of the bread truck? To haul buns.
Did you hear about the secret guild of bakers? They say that they only trade recipes on a knead to know basis.
I had thought of a lot of good bread puns, but they seem to have gone a rye. I know the feeling.
Why did the man keep punching his doughy friend?
To get a rise out of him!
You knead me in your loaf. This one kind of works, but loaf is just a little too different from life.
Why was the bread actor so unhappy?
She lost out on a juicy roll.
Did you know that bread that you make into buns is always relaxed? Yes, they just like to roll with it.
How did the baker cut four loaves of bread at the same time? By buying a four-loaf-cleaver.
The two loaves of bread could not wait to stare through the delivery room window. They wanted to see their new bun-dle of joy.
Why was the chef surprised that anyone like her bread?
She thought it was crumby.
What’s the worst thing about a bread pun?
It tends to get stale.
How do you make dog bread?
Just use collie flour.
The young loaf of bread ended up getting fired from his job because he kept loafing around. Poor guy.
Why did the butter keep talking? Because he felt like he was really on a roll.
Did you hear? The pilgrims rode the May-Flour so that they could bake bread as they went to America. This is a cute option.