Did you hear that the diet clinic was doing great business? They say that it’d really take your breadth away.
You know why I love bread puns? Because they never go stale.
Thank you for helping me. Biscuit’s the yeast I could do.
Why did the slice of bread leave her boyfriend? She thought that he was just too knead-y.
Everyone needs to eat bread because loaf is what makes the world go round. Loaf truly is.
The bread did not believe that he could work at his job much longer. He was feeling too crusty.
What did the toast say to the psychic?
You bread my mind!
A new bakery in town began ding extremely well. They said that business was definitely on the rise.
Challah if you see me in the streets. Will do.
Did you know that bread that you make into buns is always relaxed? Yes, they just like to roll with it.
The manager at the bread store told the baker that he had to stop loafing around. The baker said that it was his job.
The bread baker won the girl over because he kept giving her a flour. How sweet!
Did you hear what happened with the sourdough bread? It really rose to the occasion today.
The tiny bag of flour got in trouble, so his mother sent him to bread early. He kneaded to be punished.
"You focaccia bag, crumb back and get it."
You better watch out before you play a game with any bread? Baguette ready to lose.
hat’s the most sophisticated kind of bread?
The upper crust.
How does bread woo a lover?
With lots of flours.
What was the main job of the bread truck? To haul buns.
The bag of flour was so confused.He thought that he saw his friend the loaf yeast-erday.
That wide loaf has a decent bread-th. Nice.
What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend?
You deserve butter.
The young woman decided to become a professional baker. She realized that it could help her earn her bread and butter.
It’s too bad the man couldn’t quit his job at the bakery. He really kneaded the dough.
Why does bread looks so bad in photographs?
It’s just too grainy.
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.
Did you hear about the sign on the bakery that got everyone talking? It said “I knead dough to live.”
The cheap baker only paid his employees a flourly rate. Cheapskate!
How do you get a raise at the bread factory?
Butter up your boss.
How do you make dog bread?
Just use collie flour.
Why did the butter keep talking? Because he felt like he was really on a roll.
Why did the aging bread roll retire?
Her career was already toast.
Did you hear the little loaves playing hide-and-seek earlier? They kept yelling, “Bready or not, here I come!”
I had thought of a lot of good bread puns, but they seem to have gone a rye. I know the feeling.
What did one bread say to another after a long day? Don’t worry because tomorrow will be butter.
Did you hear? The pilgrims rode the May-Flour so that they could bake bread as they went to America. This is a cute option.
"What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?" "I want you inside me!"
They fired the loaf of bread from her job. They say that she kept breaking down and would rye on the job.
How do you spot a radical baker?
They’re always going against the grain.
Why are bread puns the greatest? They never grow mold.
Do you know why bread hates warm weather? It just makes things too toasty.
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
What’s the worst thing about a bread pun?
It tends to get stale.
Did you hear about the man who quit his job at a bakery? They said that it left him loathe of bread.
What did the banker want from the baker?
To pump her nickels.
A young slice of bread came up to his crush. He told her that he was really falling in loaf with her.
How did the baker cut four loaves of bread at the same time? By buying a four-loaf-cleaver.
Why was the bread actor so unhappy?
She lost out on a juicy roll.
The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard that they wanted to grow mold together.
You knead me in your loaf. This one kind of works, but loaf is just a little too different from life.