A security guard at an airport informs the pilot of a man trying to sneak contraband onto an airplane.
The pilot responds, "That's not going to fly."
I just flew on a plane with an all female flight crew.
It was an....unmanned aircraft.
My dad thought Cuba would be boring. He's now Havana a really great time.
Why did the volcano say to the mountain? I lava you
I am lucky to live in an airport, but whenever the guard comes out at night, Heathrows me out.
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane chocolate
I wouldn't say that flying is my favorite way to travel...
But it's up there.
I never get tide down to one place when there's so much to sea.
I'd want to know why the winters are so cold in America. I think Alaska local.
You never realize how time flies when you are not wearing a watch on a plane.
Pilots would be very hard to beat in a competition, they are always ready for a-rrival.
The best place to hide something is at an airport
You'd be hiding something in plane site.
Initially, the passenger couldn't find where his next flight was, but fortunately, he made the connection in time.
What do we call an airplane that cannot take off? It is called an error plane.
No one can accuse this trip of being plane.
I had an instant connection with someone in South Korea. I think they're my Seoul mate.
Did you hear about the vultures who went to check-in for their flight at the airport? When the check-in agent asked them if they had any luggage to check, they replied, no we just have carri-on.
If you travel to the future and get decapitated
You'd be ahead of your time
Windmills? I’m a huge fan!
Sometimes planes go in for maintenance when they have cracks in their bodywork, we call them air-line fractures.
A ship wanted to travel from the Pacific to the Arctic
But it just couldn't get its Bering Strait.
How do rabbits travel?
On hareplanes!
The airline lost my luggage, and so I sued them. Unfortunately, I lost the case.
As soon as the plane was invented, things started looking up.
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport puns.
I think it may be terminal
Long ago, a couple of dudes claimed that human flight was possible.
They were Wright.
I used to be addicted to time travel,
but that's all in the past now.
When you cross a magician and an airplane, the result is a flying sorcerer.
I hate getting tide down in one place. So let's take an ad-van-ture.
Took a flight, and my luggage got torn to pieces....
My lawyer said I don't have much of a case.
On a recent flight, my friend asked me, "If the door suddenly opens, you think we will fall out?
I said, "No, we will still be friends."
The librarian is kicked off the aeroplane because it has already been overbooked.
Why do the propellers of a plane go around and around?
To keep the pilot cool because if they stopped, man would he sweat
My son asked me how often planes crash
Usually just once
In spite of all restrictions because of Covid, diplomats are allowed to travel freely across countries.
Because they have immunity.
What travels all over the world, but stays in a corner?
A stamp
Volcanoes are rude! They are always int-erupt-ing.
Loving this road trip, but all this driving is tire-ing!
What happened when a man practiced archery near some stationary planes? They ended up very arrow-dynamic.
People who fall sick at the airport possibly end up with terminal illness.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
I met my wife at a travel agency
She was looking for a vacation and I was her last resort.
One of my friends got lost while touring Tokyo. Turns out it was all Ja-plan.
Koi fish always travel in a groups of four
Because the predator will go after the D koi
As you would expect, most airline pilots make friends only in high places.
What does Father Christmas do for his summer holidays? Santa Cruz.
The pilot was lucky. He always had work. Whenever he made an application, it was almost certain that he would land a job.
I've just arrived in Bulgaria. How is it? Sofia, so good.
Where do sharks go when they want a vacation? Finland
Every single person on my flight was reading at the same time.
The plane was fully booked.
Go to BabaMail
