You never realize how time flies when you are not wearing a watch on a plane.
No one can accuse this trip of being plane.
How do rabbits travel?
On hareplanes!
On a recent flight, my friend asked me, "If the door suddenly opens, you think we will fall out?
I said, "No, we will still be friends."
Koi fish always travel in a groups of four
Because the predator will go after the D koi
What does Father Christmas do for his summer holidays? Santa Cruz.
I've just arrived in Bulgaria. How is it? Sofia, so good.
Cows that travel alone?
Never herd of them!
Every single person on my flight was reading at the same time.
The plane was fully booked.
Why do the propellers of a plane go around and around?
To keep the pilot cool because if they stopped, man would he sweat
As soon as the plane was invented, things started looking up.
Some airplanes are so cramped that at the end of the trip, you suffer jet leg.
My grandad was responsible for 28 downed german planes in WW2.
Still to this day, he holds the record as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
The airline lost my luggage, and so I sued them. Unfortunately, I lost the case.
People who fall sick at the airport possibly end up with terminal illness.
Sometimes planes go in for maintenance when they have cracks in their bodywork, we call them air-line fractures.
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane chocolate
If you travel to the future and get decapitated
You'd be ahead of your time
Long ago, a couple of dudes claimed that human flight was possible.
They were Wright.
What happened when a man practiced archery near some stationary planes? They ended up very arrow-dynamic.
My little brother had to stay with our parents when we went to Italy. I was free to Rome.
In spite of all restrictions because of Covid, diplomats are allowed to travel freely across countries.
Because they have immunity.
My son asked me how often planes crash
Usually just once
The best place to hide something is at an airport
You'd be hiding something in plane site.
I had an instant connection with someone in South Korea. I think they're my Seoul mate.
Flight attendants fly with a very meaningful motto: always look on the flight side of life.
I drank alot of alcohol at the airport last night.
I now have a terminal hangover.
This palace is a breath of fresh heir!
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport puns.
I think it may be terminal
I'd want to know why the winters are so cold in America. I think Alaska local.
Windmills? I’m a huge fan!
If you are going to sleep, I wish you suite dreams.
Flying for long distances is very Boeing at times
A photon turns up at check-in for a flight with no baggage. The check-in agent says "Traveling light?". He says "Yes, I am".
I was arrested at the airport. Just because I was greeting my cousin Jack!
All that I said was "Hi Jack", but very loud.
Did you hear about the vultures who went to check-in for their flight at the airport? When the check-in agent asked them if they had any luggage to check, they replied, no we just have carri-on.
As you would expect, most airline pilots make friends only in high places.
What do you call a paper plane that doesn't fly ?
Stationary.
It's lunchtime and the newcomer at my workplace is on a plane to India
Turns out, someone told him that the nearby Delhi has the best sandwiches
It's a-boat time we took a vacation!
A ship wanted to travel from the Pacific to the Arctic
But it just couldn't get its Bering Strait.
I hate getting tide down in one place. So let's take an ad-van-ture.
My dad used to be an airline pilot, but he decided to retire because it got too Boe-ing.
How do you reply to an email about someone freaking out at the Los Angeles International Airport?
Re:LAX
I was so tired. I needed a sea-esta on the beach.
My dad thought Cuba would be boring. He's now Havana a really great time.
I never get tide down to one place when there's so much to sea.
What do we call an airplane that cannot take off? It is called an error plane.
I have always had acrophobia, but the plane flight brought it to a new height.
Airlines have nowadays become so cash strapped that they charge you for everything including emotional baggage.
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