My dad used to be an airline pilot, but he decided to retire because it got too Boe-ing.
The best place to hide something is at an airport
You'd be hiding something in plane site.
What does Father Christmas do for his summer holidays? Santa Cruz.
When you cross a plane and a snake, you will end up with a Boeing Constrictor.
Did you hear about the vultures who went to check-in for their flight at the airport? When the check-in agent asked them if they had any luggage to check, they replied, no we just have carri-on.
Los Angeles International Airport should sell their own brand of laxatives called LAXatives.
Why do the propellers of a plane go around and around?
To keep the pilot cool because if they stopped, man would he sweat
It's lunchtime and the newcomer at my workplace is on a plane to India
Turns out, someone told him that the nearby Delhi has the best sandwiches
I've just arrived in Bulgaria. How is it? Sofia, so good.
A security guard at an airport informs the pilot of a man trying to sneak contraband onto an airplane.
The pilot responds, "That's not going to fly."
What travels all over the world, but stays in a corner?
A stamp
A photon turns up at check-in for a flight with no baggage. The check-in agent says "Traveling light?". He says "Yes, I am".
I drank alot of alcohol at the airport last night.
I now have a terminal hangover.
I never get tide down to one place when there's so much to sea.
I was so tired. I needed a sea-esta on the beach.
I wouldn't say that flying is my favorite way to travel...
But it's up there.
How do you reply to an email about someone freaking out at the Los Angeles International Airport?
Re:LAX
In spite of all restrictions because of Covid, diplomats are allowed to travel freely across countries.
Because they have immunity.
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport puns.
I think it may be terminal
It's a-boat time we took a vacation!
I'd want to know why the winters are so cold in America. I think Alaska local.
Volcanoes are rude! They are always int-erupt-ing.
Prague is my number one choice for a dream destination...
Dying to Czech it out
I was arrested at the airport. Just because I was greeting my cousin Jack!
All that I said was "Hi Jack", but very loud.
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
The company is planning to make a new series to show people how to fly an aeroplane. They are now filming the pilot.
This palace is a breath of fresh heir!
Why did the volcano say to the mountain? I lava you
If you are going to sleep, I wish you suite dreams.
The librarian is kicked off the aeroplane because it has already been overbooked.
Why was the ocean angry? Because the ocean didn't wave back.
Where do sharks go when they want a vacation? Finland
As soon as the plane was invented, things started looking up.
Flying for long distances is very Boeing at times
When you cross a magician and an airplane, the result is a flying sorcerer.
I think there'll be a ferry-tale ending to this trip.
I had an instant connection with someone in South Korea. I think they're my Seoul mate.
I have always had acrophobia, but the plane flight brought it to a new height.
I hate getting tide down in one place. So let's take an ad-van-ture.
What happened when a man practiced archery near some stationary planes? They ended up very arrow-dynamic.
A ship wanted to travel from the Pacific to the Arctic
But it just couldn't get its Bering Strait.
Cows that travel alone?
Never herd of them!
Initially, the passenger couldn't find where his next flight was, but fortunately, he made the connection in time.
The pilot was lucky. He always had work. Whenever he made an application, it was almost certain that he would land a job.
On a recent flight, my friend asked me, "If the door suddenly opens, you think we will fall out?
I said, "No, we will still be friends."
I sued the airport authorities because they misplaced my belongings
I lost the case
No one can accuse this trip of being plane.
I just flew on a plane with an all female flight crew.
It was an....unmanned aircraft.
Sometimes planes go in for maintenance when they have cracks in their bodywork, we call them air-line fractures.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
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