We've been driving all day, I need a brake.
My suitcase started crying when I picked it up. I was carrying emotional baggage.
I was arrested at the airport. Just because I was greeting my cousin Jack!
All that I said was "Hi Jack", but very loud.
I just flew on a plane with an all female flight crew.
It was an....unmanned aircraft.
A ship wanted to travel from the Pacific to the Arctic
But it just couldn't get its Bering Strait.
Took a flight, and my luggage got torn to pieces....
My lawyer said I don't have much of a case.
My grandad was responsible for 28 downed german planes in WW2.
Still to this day, he holds the record as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
Windmills? I’m a huge fan!
It's a-boat time we took a vacation!
One of my friends got lost while touring Tokyo. Turns out it was all Ja-plan.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
I wouldn't say that flying is my favorite way to travel...
But it's up there.
Every single person on my flight was reading at the same time.
The plane was fully booked.
I hate getting tide down in one place. So let's take an ad-van-ture.
When you cross a magician and an airplane, the result is a flying sorcerer.
Flying for long distances is very Boeing at times
Airlines have nowadays become so cash strapped that they charge you for everything including emotional baggage.
How do you reply to an email about someone freaking out at the Los Angeles International Airport?
Re:LAX
This palace is a breath of fresh heir!
The pilot was lucky. He always had work. Whenever he made an application, it was almost certain that he would land a job.
How do rabbits travel?
On hareplanes!
It's lunchtime and the newcomer at my workplace is on a plane to India
Turns out, someone told him that the nearby Delhi has the best sandwiches
Initially, the passenger couldn't find where his next flight was, but fortunately, he made the connection in time.
Where do sharks go when they want a vacation? Finland
Why was the ocean angry? Because the ocean didn't wave back.
Los Angeles International Airport should sell their own brand of laxatives called LAXatives.
I never get tide down to one place when there's so much to sea.
Did you hear about the vultures who went to check-in for their flight at the airport? When the check-in agent asked them if they had any luggage to check, they replied, no we just have carri-on.
Checking in for a flight, I was asked, "Window or Aisle?"
I said, "Window or you'll do what?
Some airplanes are so cramped that at the end of the trip, you suffer jet leg.
I drank alot of alcohol at the airport last night.
I now have a terminal hangover.
If a baby is born on a plane, i guess you could call it... airborn.
You never realize how time flies when you are not wearing a watch on a plane.
The librarian is kicked off the aeroplane because it has already been overbooked.
Why do the propellers of a plane go around and around?
To keep the pilot cool because if they stopped, man would he sweat
I had an instant connection with someone in South Korea. I think they're my Seoul mate.
I met my wife at a travel agency
She was looking for a vacation and I was her last resort.
What does Father Christmas do for his summer holidays? Santa Cruz.
My dad thought Cuba would be boring. He's now Havana a really great time.
What do you call a paper plane that doesn't fly ?
Stationary.
I am lucky to live in an airport, but whenever the guard comes out at night, Heathrows me out.
I think there'll be a ferry-tale ending to this trip.
Flight attendants fly with a very meaningful motto: always look on the flight side of life.
I would tell a time travel joke,
but you didn't like it.
My little brother had to stay with our parents when we went to Italy. I was free to Rome.
Cows that travel alone?
Never herd of them!
On a recent flight, my friend asked me, "If the door suddenly opens, you think we will fall out?
I said, "No, we will still be friends."
My dad used to be an airline pilot, but he decided to retire because it got too Boe-ing.
I used to be addicted to time travel,
but that's all in the past now.
If you travel to the future and get decapitated
You'd be ahead of your time
I'd want to know why the winters are so cold in America. I think Alaska local.
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