If you don't focus on learning your lines for the production, I shutter to imagine what the reviewers will snap about.
Choreographers are always hard to get in touch with because they are always blocking you.
Theater sound guys aren't always good speakers
An actor arrived for his rehearsal at the theatre.
As he looked around, an incredible feeling of deja vu swept over him.
Suddenly he realised the set seemed like a weird adaption of his apartment, the actress looked like an odd version of his wife, and the director sounded like an eerie rendition of his dad.
"Uncanny!" He thought. "I've arrived at a strange stage of my life".
Never date a Theater person...
... wayyy too much Drama...
Tried acting in a theatre full of farmers. Got mooed off stage.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
I wonder why theatres are so sad? They're always dark, moody, and in tiers.
Our backstage manager is leaving at the end of the year. He has been an outstanding member of our theatre team.
Props to him.
The ghost scared all the boys who ventured into the haunted house and then varnished into the almirah!
Thankfully, not too many thieves are interested in acting on stage. They'd surely steal the show.
I seem to find a way of sneaking chocolate into movie theaters..
.. I always have a few twix up my sleeve.
I had a job directing an elementary school theater production.
It wasn't hard work, after all, it was child's play.
Why the skeleton doesn't go to the theater?
Because he has nobody to go with.
A friend has joined a blonds only theatre group. Fair play to him.
Who are the biggest fans at the theatre? The backstage crew - They're always giving props to the actors.
I just got fired from my theatre job. I guess I should've made a bigger scene about it.
The skeleton would love to see the latest horror flick, but he just doesn't have the guts for it.
Coming to theaters: the thrilling tale of a man who ate biographical books instead of turkey on Thanksgiving.
Baste on a true story.
It may just be a stage I'm going through, but I sure do love the trapdoors on set.
I keep looking at our upstage platform that is designed with only a ladder for access. It's just so hard not to stair.
I gave someone directions to a theater today
I guess I am a movie director now.
We should've guessed the failed postman wouldn't be any better at delivering his acting lines.
My friend told me he had to leave the play after Act l. Knowing he'd waited forever to see it, I asked him why. He said the program stated that Act ll was two years later, and he refused to wait that long.
Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theatre.
He was Tolkien all the way through.
I'm coming out of the closet to tell everyone I was just hired as a seamstress for the theatre.
When the theatre owner dies, his visitation hours are as follows: 1pm, 3pm, 6:30 pm, 9pm, and midnight.
My theater group is writing a sci-fi thriller about classical musicians.
I'll be Bach.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
A pig and a horse walk into a movie theater.
The horse didn't feel like buying popcorn so he brought some hay. A theater employee saw him and said. "Are you sneaking outside food into the theater?"
The horse said "nay."
The pig squealed.
A prankster played a really dark and dim-witted joke at the theatre. He turned off the lights.
Friend of mine got sacked as a set designer for not producing anything. He didn't make a scene.
Don't theater jokes always seem so staged?
An actor I know fell through the floor recently. It's just a stage he was going through.
Opening a new shadow puppet theatre. Business plan says we'll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.
I went to a theater performance done on a bunch of dictionaries the other day...
It was a play on words.
My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink
*No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the movie theatre*
Why do poltergeists love haunting old theaters?
Because they can't wait to boo the performers.
Couple of friends have decided to put theatre style seats in their house. It will end in tiers.
My buddy was cast in Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs, but he was still angry because he wasn't Happy.
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
You know why theater people say "break a leg" instead of good luck?
Because if you do, you'll end up in a cast!
I thought the play was frightful but I saw it under particularly unfortunate circumstances - the curtain was up.
What did the thief steal on the theatre's opening night? The spotlight.
My dad always said the secret to theatre was to always leave them wanting more.
He was a great guy but a terrible anaesthetist.
Building a good makeup design always starts with a good foundation.
Today, we had to create a new hang position for some lighting fixtures. After all day trying, we couldn't get the new batten hung properly.
Turns out it was just a pipe dream.
The stage is the most hygienic place in the world. Every time we turn on the lights they get a wash.
A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.
I guess you could say they perform... thespionage
Why do thespians have great hair? They want the perfect part.