Theater sound guys aren't always good speakers
A friend has joined a blonds only theatre group. Fair play to him.
I wonder why theatres are so sad? They're always dark, moody, and in tiers.
Friend of mine got sacked as a set designer for not producing anything. He didn't make a scene.
The stage is the most hygienic place in the world. Every time we turn on the lights they get a wash.
I'm coming out of the closet to tell everyone I was just hired as a seamstress for the theatre.
A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.
I guess you could say they perform... thespionage
An actor arrived for his rehearsal at the theatre.
As he looked around, an incredible feeling of deja vu swept over him.
Suddenly he realised the set seemed like a weird adaption of his apartment, the actress looked like an odd version of his wife, and the director sounded like an eerie rendition of his dad.
"Uncanny!" He thought. "I've arrived at a strange stage of my life".
Why did the penguin enter the theatre?
He wanted to go into snow business
The ghost scared all the boys who ventured into the haunted house and then varnished into the almirah!
Great news! I'm a movie director now! I gave stellar directions to a very lovely family on their way to the theatre.
Theatre costumes must be handled with care since they're often laced with something.
Thankfully, not too many thieves are interested in acting on stage. They'd surely steal the show.
My friend told me he had to leave the play after Act l. Knowing he'd waited forever to see it, I asked him why. He said the program stated that Act ll was two years later, and he refused to wait that long.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
Who are the biggest fans at the theatre? The backstage crew - They're always giving props to the actors.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre?
A: They apparently went to see "Closed For The Winter"
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
I had a job directing an elementary school theater production.
It wasn't hard work, after all, it was child's play.
Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theatre.
He was Tolkien all the way through.
What did the thief steal on the theatre's opening night? The spotlight.
Tried acting in a theatre full of farmers. Got mooed off stage.
My theater group is writing a sci-fi thriller about classical musicians.
I'll be Bach.
Show your popcorn and coke guy at the movies a little appreciation. After all, he makes a lot of concessions.
Why do thespians have great hair? They want the perfect part.
Theatre - the one place it doesn't pay to read between the line.
When the theatre owner dies, his visitation hours are as follows: 1pm, 3pm, 6:30 pm, 9pm, and midnight.
Coming to theaters: the thrilling tale of a man who ate biographical books instead of turkey on Thanksgiving.
Baste on a true story.
Don't theater jokes always seem so staged?
A prankster played a really dark and dim-witted joke at the theatre. He turned off the lights.
A pig and a horse walk into a movie theater.
The horse didn't feel like buying popcorn so he brought some hay. A theater employee saw him and said. "Are you sneaking outside food into the theater?"
The horse said "nay."
The pig squealed.