The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
My father got a new laptop, and it is now like the baby computer of the house, so we refer to the older laptop as the 'Data'.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
It doesn't matter if my wife tells me Im not mature
Im not going to let her enter my tree house without the right password.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment when they discover a hard drive labeled "KGB".
One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, "Why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?"
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
V
V
Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
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