Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
I for one
is something you might do if you had a broken keyboard
How do you type the word "Royalty" on a keyboard?
You start with the higher R key.
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
'what's the Wifi password?'
'Its for security'
'Haha, yes, I know that. But what's the password?'.
'No, it's 'forsecurity'. All one word, lower case.'.
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.
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