What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
My father got a new laptop, and it is now like the baby computer of the house, so we refer to the older laptop as the 'Data'.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.
Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?
Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
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