I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
It doesn't matter if my wife tells me Im not mature
Im not going to let her enter my tree house without the right password.
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.