What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment when they discover a hard drive labeled "KGB".
One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, "Why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?"
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
I for one
is something you might do if you had a broken keyboard
Two days ago, I named my Wifi to "Hack it if you can".
Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted".
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo.
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
It doesn't matter if my wife tells me Im not mature
Im not going to let her enter my tree house without the right password.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty