What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
Used to never be able to use the WiFi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment when they discover a hard drive labeled "KGB".
One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, "Why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?"
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
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