Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
Cell phones are a static symbol.
The rancher's Wifi wasn't working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
Computers cannot make good boxers because their bark is worse than their byte.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
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