Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME.
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
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