How do you type the word "Royalty" on a keyboard?
You start with the higher R key.
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
I for one
is something you might do if you had a broken keyboard
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
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