What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
Computers cannot make good boxers because their bark is worse than their byte.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
Go to BabaMail
