How do you organise a welcome party for an alien race?
You planet.
I don’t get why people buy into the flat earth theory.
I mean, the arguments for it aren’t exactly well rounded.
What do you think holds the moon up? Moonbeams.
An astronaut who normally fails on a weightlessness experiment, might surely be aware of the gravity of the situation.
What do moon people do after they get married?What do moon people do after they get married?
Go on their honeyearth.
What various kinds of fishes live in space? Starfish.
Where do Astronauts go to the bathroom?
Where no one has gone before.
Why does nobody invite Jupiter to the space parties? Because he has too much gas, always…
How does one astronaut on the moon tell another astronaut that he is sorry?
He apollo-gises.
Are Earth and Moon good friends? Yes, they’ve been going around together for many years now.
What will you do when you will see a spaceman? You will simply park your car, man!
The moon landing is obviously fake.
The moon is clearly still up there.
I’m currently reading a book on anti-gravity and it’s impossible to put it down.
How many ears do you think a Spock has? Three. A right ear, left ear, and a final front ear.
I telephoned the tennis star Serena Williams for an interview and asked her, “What’s your favourite planet?”
Her: It’s Venus.
Me: Sorry Venus, would you put Serena on the phone?
How much far can you see with your naked eyes, on a clear day? 92,955,807 miles (to the sun).
Flat-Earthers hate the fact our planet is spherical, whereas Asgard is flat.
It's a Thor subject for them.
How will you have communion in the space if you won’t have mass?
Who is the first farmer to walk on the moon?
Neil Farmstrong.
Which hot drinks space people like? Gravi-tea.
Why do astronauts use linux?
because you can't open windows in space.
Can an Australian with poor vision clearly see the moon?
No, but a "good eye might."
What makes politicians and planets similar?
They both take up space.
When should astronauts retire?
When they start spacing out.
Two astronauts who were dating, met up for a launch date.
My wife just yelled that I should fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth to reach a supply of water and die.
I know she means well.
Why do all kids want to be an astronaut?
Because there is no pressure.
What's E.T. short for?
Because he's got little legs.
What time do spacemen get up? Alien in the morning.
Why does Moon goes to the bank? To change his quarters.
How do planets staying busy during hunting season?
By shooting stars.
I dare you to lie that you didn’t find all these space puns hilarious. Th
Every time when I see a picture of something amazing in space, I usually say “That’s totally far out.”
What do planets like to read?
Comet books.
Living on Earth might be expensive. But we surely get a free trip around the sun every year!
Canada is planning a mission to the moon
They're calling the spaceship the Apollo-G.
I would have gone to space, but the cost is astronomical!
Why does the earth appreciate the moon so much?
It keeps the oceans tidy.
What are the best kind of flowers to get your girlfriend after screwing up?
Whoopsie Daisies
What do you do when your friend is a claustrophobic astronaut?
You give him a little space.
Libya changed its plain green flag to a crescent moon, but I think they'll change it back.
It's only a phase, after all.
Where can you read about planets exploding?
In the orbituaries.
Beer is the greatest beverage on earth.
That's my pint of view, anyway.
What does someone mean by a light year? The same as a regular year, but with less calories and fat.
What is an astronauts favourite type of shirt?
Apollo
"I heard some dictator wants to move the Earth further from the sun."
"Why??"
"Because it will take longer to make a full revolution."
Why doesn’t the sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees!
What currency do astronauts use in space?
Starbucks.
Where do you think the astronauts keep their sandwiches? In the launch-box.
Why wouldn’t the Moon come to the Sun’s funeral?
It isn’t a mourning person
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