What will you do if you come across a green alien? I’ll simply wait until it’s ripe.
Tomorrow the planet will be one year older..
Happy bEarthday!
What do you call the Earth when it is quaking?
Shakesphere.
What do you call an overweight alien?
An extra cholesterol.
I could have been an astronaut...
but my parents told me the sky was the limit.
Why didnt the moon go outside?
Because it was waning.
How does a quarter moon always feel?
Crestfallen.
Why did the cosmonaut take his dog to the vet?
He came down with a stellar case of lunar tics.
Where can you read about planets exploding?
In the orbituaries.
Mountains aren't just funny.
They're hill areas.
What do you call a meal from the moon?
A satellite dish.
What makes politicians and planets similar?
They both take up space.
Is that the Dog star? You can’t be Sirius!
The sun is mad at the clouds because the clouds keep throwing shade.
Why did the Sun never got into college? Because it already has quite a million degrees!
What is suns favorite chocolate bar?
A milky way.
Which channels do the asteroids like to watch? The comet-y channel.
I telephoned the tennis star Serena Williams for an interview and asked her, “What’s your favourite planet?”
Her: It’s Venus.
Me: Sorry Venus, would you put Serena on the phone?
What holds the moon up?
Moonbeams!
My dads astronaut friend ate pizza in space
He said it was out of this world.
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts.
The moon asked the sun: Buddy when you are so hot, why are you single yet?
Why do you think is the moon bald? Because it has no ‘air.
What time do spacemen get up? Alien in the morning.
There's this vampire who's more powerful than any other, because he can't be hurt by the sun
All other vampires pale in comparison.
What do you think holds the moon up? Moonbeams.
Why these days, the Moon is up till so late? Don’t worry, it is just going through a phase.
How will you save yourself if you come across an aggressive alien? Give him some space.
I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying he’d walk to the edge of the Earth to prove me wrong.
He’ll come around eventually.
Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.
Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.
When should astronauts retire?
When they start spacing out.
Dud you know Astronauts said steaks are better in space?
They're a little meteor.
How did the space criminal escape from the prison planet?
He achieved escape velocity.
Got my friend an unnecessarily large rocket for bonfire night.
He's over the moon!He's over the moon!
Why haven't the aliens visited earth yet?
They read the reviews... only one star.
Reading sun puns while sunbathing make one well red.
A sun walks into a black hole.
The black hole says to the sun "I don't think you understand the gravity of this situation".
How many ears do you think a Spock has? Three. A right ear, left ear, and a final front ear.
When you cross summer sun with summer pun you get summer fun.
Any proof that Saturn married more than once? Well, he do has a lot of rings.
What's E.T. short for?
Because he's got little legs.
What do you think they use in space, when they run out of the drinking cups? The Big Dipper.
It is difficult to hold up a trouser. How does Jupiter does it? Simply, with an asteroid belt.
I dare you to lie that you didn’t find all these space puns hilarious. Th
Cassini spacecraft took pictures of both Saturn and Earth. It was literally the best of both worlds.
Have you found the center of gravity yet? It’s the letter v.
What is a lightyear?
The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
Where do the astronauts park their vehicles? At the parking meteors.
Why does Moon goes to the bank? To change his quarters.
Why doesn’t the sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees!
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