What did Mars tell to Saturn? Give me a ring sometime!
Where do aliens park their flying saucers?
At a parking meteor.
Living on Earth might be expensive. But we surely get a free trip around the sun every year!
What does Earth get on Earth day ?
A birthday quake !
Canada is planning a mission to the moon
They're calling the spaceship the Apollo-G.
What does someone mean by a light year? The same as a regular year, but with less calories and fat.
Have you heard the one about the spaceship that came to Earth?
Never mind its over your head.
Why does Venus have a crush on the sun?
Because the sun is really hot.
Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.
Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.
Why did the cosmonaut take his dog to the vet?
He came down with a stellar case of lunar tics.
How does the sun say hi to the moon?
With a heat wave!
Sun to Earth, on the night of 31st December:
"Let's have another round, shall we?"
Have you heard about the chef on space station? He’s not that much of an astronaut, but his food is literally out of this world!
Why is the taste of moon rock better than that of Earth rock? Because it’s a little meteor.
The sun replies: I hurt everyone when they come close to me.
Do you know why no one has ever been sentenced for crimes committed on the moon?
Because it's a gray area.
What do you call an overweight alien?
An extra cholesterol.
An astronaut broke up with his girlfriend
Apparently he didn't love her to the moon and back.
What do moon people do after they get married?What do moon people do after they get married?
Go on their honeyearth.
What did Neil Armstrong say when people didn't laugh at his moon jokes?
"I guess you had to be there."
People gave the sun a rating.
It was only one star.
My wife just yelled that I should fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth to reach a supply of water and die.
I know she means well.
What do you do when your friend is a claustrophobic astronaut?
You give him a little space.
What do you call an alien spaceship that's leaking water?
A crying saucer.
Why don't aliens get hungry after being blasted into space?
Because they've just had a big launch.
Why should the Sun get into a school? To get brighter.
What is an astronaut's favorite candy bar?
Milky way.
Why didnt the moon go outside?
Because it was waning.
"Hi, I'm Buzz Aldrin. Second person to step on the moon.
Neil before me."
How did the aliens hurt the farmer?
They trod on his corn.
Becoming a space pilot is not easy. It requires a good altitude.
Why haven't the aliens visited earth yet?
They read the reviews... only one star.
How does one astronaut says sorry on the moon tell another astronaut? He Apollo-gises.
There’s a big thunderstorm. The road is blocked by a big mudslide. A little boy asks his dad, “Why does earth fall down like that?”
His dad answers, “It’s terrain.”
Any proof that Saturn married more than once? Well, he do has a lot of rings.
Which hot drinks space people like? Gravi-tea.
Why an astronaut can be said similar to a football player? They both strive for touchdowns!
What are the best kind of flowers to get your girlfriend after screwing up?
Whoopsie Daisies
What’s the suns favorite clothes brand?
Kelvin Klein.
Where do astronauts go for lunch?
Apollo Loco.
Why don't pets make good astronauts?
They're afraid of the spay station
Can an Australian with poor vision clearly see the moon?
No, but a "good eye might."
What is suns favorite chocolate bar?
A milky way.
What is the angriest place on Earth?
Ire-land
Why do all kids want to be an astronaut?
Because there is no pressure.
Why is the moon a wanted criminal?
It’s constantly mooning people.
How did the space criminal escape from the prison planet?
He achieved escape velocity.
How did the astronaut die?
exposure to Mercury.
Well, there are mixed reviews. People say the food is great. But there is no atmosphere or ambience.
Mooning is very ASStrological
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