Have you heard the one about the spaceship that came to Earth?
Never mind its over your head.
Why will you not want to give a bath to the Saturn? It would then leave a ring around the tub.
Can an Australian with poor vision clearly see the moon?
No, but a "good eye might."
What is an astronauts favourite type of shirt?
Apollo
How much far can you see with your naked eyes, on a clear day? 92,955,807 miles (to the sun).
SpaceX is launching astronauts today with a new space catapult
Bringing forth a new era of crude spaceflight.
Why doesn’t the sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees!
How do you organise a welcome party for an alien race?
You planet.
Why is the moon a wanted criminal?
It’s constantly mooning people.
Mooning is very ASStrological
What did Mars tell to Saturn? Give me a ring sometime!
What is a lightyear?
The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
What type of songs do planets sing?
Nep-Tunes.
It is difficult to hold up a trouser. How does Jupiter does it? Simply, with an asteroid belt.
Why didnt the moon go outside?
Because it was waning.
What’s the suns favorite clothes brand?
Kelvin Klein.
What do you think holds the moon up? Moonbeams.
The satellite went into the orbit, right on January 1st, causing a New Year’s revolution.
Mountains aren't just funny.
They're hill areas.
An astronaut who normally fails on a weightlessness experiment, might surely be aware of the gravity of the situation.
What holds the moon up?
Moonbeams!
Why did you guys not laugh at my space puns? Because there way to Sirius.
When should astronauts retire?
When they start spacing out.
What is the angriest place on Earth?
Ire-land
Why don't aliens get hungry after being blasted into space?
Because they've just had a big launch.
He knew literally everything about the constellations. Some might even say that his knowledge of the night sky was astronomical.
Last night I was but by a bloodsucker from the moon.
Damn lunatics.
My dads astronaut friend ate pizza in space
He said it was out of this world.
How can astronauts get more protein in their diet? They make it meteor.
Why did the police arrest the star? That’s becuase it was a shooting star.
"Hi, I'm Buzz Aldrin. Second person to step on the moon.
Neil before me."
What would’ve happen if the Apollo astronauts stayed on the lunar surface for too long?
They would’ve been lunatics.
Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped in gum?
He got stuck in Orbit.
The moon asked the sun: Buddy when you are so hot, why are you single yet?
Living costs on the moon would probably be out of this world.
How do planets staying busy during hunting season?
By shooting stars.
What do you call a wizard aboard a spacecraft?
A flying sorcerer.
Becoming a space pilot is not easy. It requires a good altitude.
Why does the earth appreciate the moon so much?
It keeps the oceans tidy.
Why can’t people hear your scream in the space? Because it’s miles away.
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts.
Every time when I see a picture of something amazing in space, I usually say “That’s totally far out.”
Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.
Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.
Sun to Earth, on the night of 31st December:
"Let's have another round, shall we?"
Wanna know a way for werewolves to howl other than the full moon?
Make them stub their toe.
Last evening I walked up the hill in the park to see the planets. Stumbled over a lip in the concrete and went down pretty hard. Ripped pants and skinned hands and knees. When I got to the top I couldn't see a thing.
The view was NOT worth the trip.
How many ears do you think a Spock has? Three. A right ear, left ear, and a final front ear.
Cassini spacecraft took pictures of both Saturn and Earth. It was literally the best of both worlds.
Living on Earth might be expensive. But we surely get a free trip around the sun every year!
What do aliens prefer to drink?
Gravi-tea.
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