Why does Venus have a crush on the sun?
Because the sun is really hot.
What kind of magazines would the planets prefer to read? Cosmos.
The sun is mad at the clouds because the clouds keep throwing shade.
Last night I was but by a bloodsucker from the moon.
Damn lunatics.
I've finally started to believe that Pluto is not really a planet...
Especially when I saw him in a cartoon.
What's E.T. short for?
Because he's got little legs.
Scientists have found that the center of Jupiter… has the letter i.
How did the space criminal escape from the prison planet?
He achieved escape velocity.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid on the planet?
It's pasteurized before you see it.
I dare you to lie that you didn’t find all these space puns hilarious. Th
How will you have communion in the space if you won’t have mass?
What will you do when you will see a spaceman? You will simply park your car, man!
What kind of tropical fruit wants to visit the moon?
A Coco-naut
How do you get a baby alien to sleep?
Rocket.
Are Earth and Moon good friends? Yes, they’ve been going around together for many years now.
How will you save yourself if you come across an aggressive alien? Give him some space.
How do planets staying busy during hunting season?
By shooting stars.
What do you call a person really crazy about the moon
A lunatic.
Why do you think is the moon bald? Because it has no ‘air.
Why did the police arrest the star? That’s becuase it was a shooting star.
What holds the moon up?
Moonbeams!
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
My wife will never forget falling asleep in the sun with her breast exposed.
It’s forever burned in her mammary.
Why wouldn’t the Moon come to the Sun’s funeral?
It isn’t a mourning person
What type of songs do planets sing?
Nep-Tunes.
There’s a lot of proposals on cleaning up space in earth’s orbit from broken satellites.
Looks like they’ll need a vacuum cleaner.
I thought about studying the astronomy for my university. But then I thought, I would just be taking up space.
Why does the earth appreciate the moon so much?
It keeps the oceans tidy.
Libya changed its plain green flag to a crescent moon, but I think they'll change it back.
It's only a phase, after all.
What will you do if you come across a green alien? I’ll simply wait until it’s ripe.
Where do you think the astronauts keep their sandwiches? In the launch-box.
Last evening I walked up the hill in the park to see the planets. Stumbled over a lip in the concrete and went down pretty hard. Ripped pants and skinned hands and knees. When I got to the top I couldn't see a thing.
The view was NOT worth the trip.
When should astronauts retire?
When they start spacing out.
What all kinds of stars wear the sunglasses? The movie stars.
Who is the first farmer to walk on the moon?
Neil Farmstrong.
Got my friend an unnecessarily large rocket for bonfire night.
He's over the moon!He's over the moon!
Mountains aren't just funny.
They're hill areas.
What is suns favorite chocolate bar?
A milky way.
Where can you read about planets exploding?
In the orbituaries.
He knew literally everything about the constellations. Some might even say that his knowledge of the night sky was astronomical.
Why does NASA give astronauts pencils to use in space?
Because they've got the Write Stuff.
What time do spacemen get up? Alien in the morning.
Tomorrow the planet will be one year older..
Happy bEarthday!
Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock?
Because it's a little meteor.
An astronaut broke up with his girlfriend
Apparently he didn't love her to the moon and back.
Becoming a space pilot is not easy. It requires a good altitude.
Do scientists who study the sun have a flare for research?
Can an Australian with poor vision clearly see the moon?
No, but a "good eye might."
What is an astronaut's favorite candy bar?
Milky way.
Mooning is very ASStrological
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