When God integrated Planet Earth, he didn’t forget his integral calculus lesson.
He remembered to add the sea.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid on the planet?
It's pasteurized before you see it.
What did Earth say to the other planets?
Wow you guys have no life.
The moon asked the sun: Buddy when you are so hot, why are you single yet?
When NASA will put 20 heads of cattle into the outer space, it will be the 1st herd shot around the entire world.
What various kinds of fishes live in space? Starfish.
What do you call an alien with three eyes?
An aliiien.
How can astronauts get more protein in their diet? They make it meteor.
Why is the moon a wanted criminal?
It’s constantly mooning people.
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket.
Why did the cow go right up to the spaceship? To see the Mooooooooooon.
I've finally started to believe that Pluto is not really a planet...
Especially when I saw him in a cartoon.
What do moon people do after they get married?What do moon people do after they get married?
Go on their honeyearth.
What do you think walking on the moon is like?
Not very impactful.
I don’t get why people buy into the flat earth theory.
I mean, the arguments for it aren’t exactly well rounded.
A space fish is usually called starfish.
What would’ve happen if the Apollo astronauts stayed on the lunar surface for too long?
They would’ve been lunatics.
How many astronomers will it take to just change a lightbulb? None, they like the dark.
Living on Earth might be expensive. But we surely get a free trip around the sun every year!
Have you heard about the chef on space station? He’s not that much of an astronaut, but his food is literally out of this world!
Old astronomers got so tired of waiting for the sun to go down, that they decided to pack it up and call it a day.
Warning! Do not look at the sun through a colander.
You'll strain your eyes.
Where do you think the astronauts keep their sandwiches? In the launch-box.
What will a space turkey say to another one? Hubble Hubble.
What are the best kind of flowers to get your girlfriend after screwing up?
Whoopsie Daisies
Have you heard about some bones on the moon? Looks like the cow couldn’t make it after all.
How do astronauts prepare for a birthday party
They planet.
Sun to Earth, on the night of 31st December:
"Let's have another round, shall we?"
Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.
Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.
Why did the police arrest the star? That’s becuase it was a shooting star.
How do you organise a welcome party for an alien race?
You planet.
Why does Venus have a crush on the sun?
Because the sun is really hot.
What do you call a fashionable, but judgmental monster who howls at the moon?
A What Not To Wear-Wolf.
Why should the Sun get into a school? To get brighter.
When astronauts die, the local papers run an orbituary.
Where do the astronauts park their vehicles? At the parking meteors.
When you cross summer sun with summer pun you get summer fun.
What do aliens prefer to drink?
Gravi-tea.
Which channels do the asteroids like to watch? The comet-y channel.
What do planets like to read?
Comet books.
Where can you read about planets exploding?
In the orbituaries.
What type of elements know everybody on earth?
Met-all.
Well, there are mixed reviews. People say the food is great. But there is no atmosphere or ambience.
How much far can you see with your naked eyes, on a clear day? 92,955,807 miles (to the sun).
What do you call a meal from the moon?
A satellite dish.
What do you call the Earth when it is quaking?
Shakesphere.
What time do spacemen get up? Alien in the morning.
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What are Astronauts doing when they do a mistake?
They Apollogize
Why an astronaut can be said similar to a football player? They both strive for touchdowns!
He knew literally everything about the constellations. Some might even say that his knowledge of the night sky was astronomical.