If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
The scariest day of my life was when we ran into a bear taking a dump inside our campsite.
That sh** was in
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
Dung Beetles know how to keep their sh** together.
What do you call a turd made by the captain of a vessel?
The Captain's Log
"Is it the tar that smells like farts?"
"No, it was your asphalt"
What do you call someone who acts like a piece of fish poop?
A bassturd.
Dung beetle walks into a bar....
"Is this stool taken?"
If you poop in your sleep...
You have sleep crapnea.
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
In a recent study, NASA scientists confirmed that Uranus smells like farts.
My friend explained how powerful (yet invisible) farts work via demonstration.
I was blown away by his transparency.
what's the best day of the week to poop?
saTURDay.
I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
An entre-manure.
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
Why didn’t the teacher want to fart in front of anyone?
He was a private tootor.
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.
What is a dung beetle's favorite holiday song?
"All I Want for Christmas is Poo"
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
When your poo goes into the sewers, it's not yours anymore.
It becomes pooblic domain.
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
My farts don’t smell, they don’t have noses.
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.