Why do perfumes always hang out in pairs?
Because they don't want to get cologne-ly!
The magazine my daughter gets each month always smells like perfume. I wondered aloud if they scent it.
Then I realized, of course they sent it. Otherwise it would have never come.
I accidently sprayed deoderant in my mouth
Now every time I speak I have a weird Axe Scent.
My brother sprayed on some of his new deodorant. "How do I smell?" He asked.
"With your nose" I replied.
My sister just bought a set of odorless perfumes.
It doesn’t make any scents.
My wife is furious at me for buying an expensive make-your-own-perfume kit.
But it just made scents to me.
What do you call a deodorant that's never happy?
A deodor-rant.
What do you call a perfume that missed its deadline?
Eau de too late.
Did you hear about how deodorant lead to the capture of a cold war agent?
The scent of old spies gave him away.
I got 5 packs of deodorant for a nickel.
Deodorant is a scent.
There was a group of ants that always went on parties together, but one smelled way worse than the others.
He was de odor ant.
Have you heard what happened to unemployed perfume makers?
They are not making any scents.
Why don't ghosts wear deodorant?
They like to keep it super natural.
What would you call a familiar scent?
Nose-talgic.
This lady at the supermarket is staring at me, like she's never seen anyone put on deodorant...
And then put it back on the shelf.
My friend once used laughing gas as deodorant.
He smelled funny the whole day.
Why did Chanel sue a company which came out with its own "No. 5" perfume?
They thought it was a fragrant violation of the law.
I just won local "Worst Body Odor Contest".
No one else came close.
I'm burning a gold-scented candle.
It has a very rich aroma.
What is the most disgusting perfume ever made?
Eau de colon.
Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
Because it's the scenter.
I don't like strong perfumes...
I guess I'm inscentsitive.
What do you call a tree that grows deodorant, toothpaste and tampons?
A toiletry.
My Buddhist friend just gave me a “Nirvana” scented perfume.
It smells like Teen Spirit.
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
Do perfumes expire?
In essence, they do.
Dad asked if he could borrow my deodorant.
I said "sure, no sweat."
What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?
"Odor in the court!"
Police have reported that a baseball themed perfume factory has blown up under mysterious circumstances.
They said it smells like Foul Play.
As summer approaches, I think it’s a good idea to use two deodorants, one under each armpit.
But that’s just my two scents.
I used to hate my husband's cologne...
But then it started to rub off on me.
What do you call it when a doctor puts a camera inside of a bottle of perfume?
A cologne-oscopy.
I ran out of deodorant.
I guess I'll go online and odor some more.
If a wine connoisseur is called a sommelier then a perfume connoisseur should be called a smellier.
So Chanel is making a new perfume made entirely of rain water.
It’s called the Weather Chanel.
I'm developing a new fragrance for introverts
It's called "Leave me the fuh cologne".
The instructions on this stick deodorant said "remove cap and push up bottom"...
I can hardly walk!
I forgot to put on deodorant this morning, so I went to the store on my way to work.
It was a quick pit stop.
The perfume was very cheap.
It's price was in cents.
What's it called when a perfume climbs up the stairs?
Ascent.
Mother Superior had to crack down on sisters wearing perfume in the convent.
She said she would not tolerate such nun scents.
This can of deodorant said it "Lasts 24 hours"...
So the next day I bought another can.
What must a witty perfume have?
Scents of humor.
Why did the skunk cross the road?
To get to the odor side.
I just broke my wife’s favorite perfume bottle, she’s gonna be fuming!
Did you just hear that perfume bottle talk?
I think it's becoming scentient.
France gave perfumes to countries it dominated in the past...
That was classic Colognialism.
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