Why did the King of Hearts marry the Queen of Hearts?
They were perfectly suited to each other.
There once was a family, the Bigger’s.
There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and a son, baby Bigger. Which one was the largest?
The son, because he was a little Bigger.
A man called his twin brother from prison
“Hey remember when we were kids and use to finish each other’s sentences?”
I was painting my room with my brother...
When I realised. He's not a very good brush.
What does your little sibling and Q have in common?
They will always rely on U.
My wife and I split up.
She got the “U” and I got the “P”
How did the pot head propose to their spouse?
Marriage, You wanna?
What does a baby computer call its father?
Data.
SIBLING PUNS
Who’s the pimple’s favorite sibling?
His cyst-er.
I was talking to my Mom the other day and she mentioned that none of her sisters needed the vaccine.
Turned out they already had the auntybodies.
I ran into my sibling while exploring the Sahara Desert.
I yelled out, "Oasis!"
“Mr. Jones, I’ve reviewed this case very carefully,” said the divorce court judge, “And I’ve decided to give your wife $300 a week.”
“That’s very fair, your honor,” said the husband.
“I’ll try and send her a few bucks myself every now and then too.”
Two bananas married without realising they were from the same tree.
They really split over it. It was a really slippery ordeal and peeled them apart.
A century ago, two brothers insisted that it was possible to fly ...
And as you can see, they were Wright.
My wife and I have the same shoes. I guess you could say we are solemates.
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend but he kept asking her for another shot.
Went to ask my girlfriend's father for his daughter's hand in marriage.
He replied: "Give me one good reason you'd make a good husband or even a decent father or I'm leaving!"
I thought long and hard, and eventually said: "Hi leaving I'm John!"
The wedding is next month.
Why did the biology teacher and the physics teacher split up?
They had no chemistry!
If I ever had identical twin daughters, I'd name the first one Kate....
and the second one Duplikate.
What is the only American State that has ever been married?
Mrs. Ippi.
I didn't want to believe my husband was robbing golf courses...
But I couldn't ignore the red flags!
I told my husband I was excited to see who's nose our baby has on the ultrasound.
He said, "He can't have my nose, I need it!"
My wife says she’s leaving me because she thinks I’m too obsessed with astronomy.
What planet is she on?!
Stop looking for the perfect match..
Use a lighter!
Did you hear about the two cell phones that got married?
The ceremony was so so but the reception was superb.
I went to a wedding of two nuclear technicians.
The bride was radiant and the groom was glowing.
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