What does a Greek machine need to work?
Greece.
In Greek Mythology, Chiron was not only half man and half horse, he was also a doctor of medicine
That made him the centaur for disease control.
Son: "Dad, why'd you name me Odysseus? He's from greek mythology."
Dad: "Well son, you broke through the trojan wall."
My son asked me, what’s a Greek urn?
I said, “about 20 drachmas a day.”
Son: I was really Hungary and I ate the whole Turkey. There is only Greece left.
Me: I couldn’t Bolivia!
Some people say Greece should stop using the euro as currency...
I think they're being over-drachmatic.
What do cows in Greece sound like?
They say µ.
I've been dying to go to Greece on vacation.
But all they serve is bar food.
What sound does a Greek cow make?
"μ"
What does a Greek God say when they answer the phone?
"Whodisious?"
What is the capital of Greece?
G.
What do you call the Greek version of Spider-Man?
Pita Parker.
What's the difference between Greek yogurt and regular yogurt?
Greek yogurt has a rich cultural history.
How do Greek gods say sorry to one another
"I Apollo-gise"
Brother: "My friend John is in Greece studying abroad."
My Dad: "What's her name?"
Did you know that the Greek god Chronos was in the Mafia?
He was the Don of Time itself!
I can't stand Greek salads.
I like un-feta'd access to my greens.
If you don’t have a lot of figurines from Ancient Greek mythology, I can give you a mini tour.
I'll be making a movie about the Greek alphabets.
It's a Psi Phi film.
A lot of William Shakespeare’s plays were based off of old Greek and Roman performances
That's playgarism if you ask me.
Have you seen the Greek book that became a movie? You odyssey it.
How do you get in contact with a Greek architect?
You column.
What's the name of the machine the ancient greeks used to calculate how best to fight hybrid monsters?
The antichimera mechanism.
I guess you can say my misunderstanding of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles
Elbow.
What happens when Greeks come back from war?
They get a gyro’s welcome.
What do you call the Greek God of Mexican chickens?
Apollo
Which ancient Greek Philosopher had a foot fetish?
Play-toe.
Or was it Sock-rates?
Other people had drugs in school, but I brought Greek cheeses.
That way I could have math and feta cheese.
What do you call a Greek philosopher who loves rice?
Arisotto.
Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
If Russia attacked Turkey from behind do you think Greece would help?
An ancient Greek walks into his tailor’s shop with a pair of torn pants.
‘’Euripides’’ says the tailor. ‘’Yeah, Eumenides?’’ replies the man.
I was at a thrift store and the guy ahead of me was purchasing an antique urn made in Greece
He asked the cashier if she knew how much a Greek urns.
A soda can, a gas tank and the Greek god Eros walked into a bar?
The bartender shook his head, “Here comes trouble.” A patron at the bar said, “What’s wrong?” The bartender replied, “Those guys get together and they become cantankeros.”
My son claims that he identifies as an ancient Greek string instrument.
Frankly, I think he's a lyre.
Why do people in Greece not wake up until noon?
Because Dawn is tough on greece.
Historians have discovered a new Greek God who didn’t excel at anything.
His name was mediocretese.
What is a Greek dog’s favorite dessert?
Barklava!
In Ancient Greece, people who had beliefs contrary to the worship of Poseidon were executed for Heresea.
A few years ago, I had a job translating pre-Classical Greek literature into Braille.
It feels like ancient history.
What do you call a Greek love song?
An Aphro-ditty.
What did the prehistoric Greeks call their goddess of love?
Troglodite.
Who is the most famous actor in Greece ?
John Travolta.
How did citizens of Ancient Greece measure land for crops?
By Demeter.
A company from Israel took over the Greek national cheese factory in Greece
Now it's called the Cheeses of Nazareth.
The Greeks make the best cheese
You feta believe it!
What did Sophocles call his dating service in Ancient Greece?
Oedipal Arrangements.