My friend was bragging about his new L-shaped sofa, so I told him I had one too.
It's just lowercase.
There's a group of guys that assemble wooden furniture for fun.
I hope they let me join.
The cabinet I made just collapsed and a bunch of books fell and hit me.
I’ve only got my shelf to blame.
How is a shoddy furniture manufacturer like a bag of prunes?
They both create loose stools.
Two cabinets walk out of a bar...
One says to the other, "you walking home?" and the other replies, "Nah, I'm cabinet."
Why did the broom decide to go to bed?
He was getting sweepy
How do you move a piece of furniture at the weather station?
With four casters.
I'm thinking about buying a weighted blanket.
This is a most heavy decision.
Why is IKEA the cheapest place to get furniture?
Because they have some Swede deals!
I was going to replace the seats at my bar
But... I just can't look at another stool sample
I accidentally kicked my bed post when I got up this morning, almost couldn't move!
Luckilly, I called a toe truck.
Why does a milking chair only have three legs?
The cow has the udder.
I couldn't chair less!
My chair finally broke down yesterday.
It just doesn't give a sit anymore.
What do you do when you are in the wrong seat?
Stand corrected
I was going to buy a new pillow....
but I decided I better sleep on it first
What did the first plate say to the second plate?
"Dinner's on me!"
I feel a bit bad for making blanket statements.....
They're my quilty pleasure
Nothing really mattress.
What did the flirty coat say to the jacket?
"Do you hang here often?"
My husband hated my impulse purchase of a revolving chair, but then he sat on it.
Eventually he came around.
A student made our teacher so angry, they flipped their desk
Oh, the tables have turned
I think the final paragraph of my essay is on the top shelf...
But I don't want to jump to conclusions.
I put a blanket on a small pepper
He said he felt a little chili
Someone took my three-legged chair.
I guess it was stoolen
My wife was a bit down so I decided to redecorate our living room.
Thought it would chair her up but sofa she haven't even noticed
What did the Papa Blanket say to the Mama Blanket when the Baby Blanket was crying?
Comforter.
Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and thinking to myself....
Where the heck is my roof ?
What do you call a chair in a suit?
A tuxSEATo
The salesman at the furniture store told me "This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems!"
To which I said, “Where on earth am I going to find 5 people without any problems?”
I used to hate the electric blanket.
But the last few nights I’ve been warming up to it.
What’s a farmer’s favorite piece of furniture?
a COWch.
What do you do with a wardrobe door that is slightly ajar?
You clothes it.
Why was the cabinet maker fired on his first day?
He just couldn't get a handle on it.
Why does a lawyer tuck a suitcase into bed?
To rest his case
My wife ordered one of those new heavy blankets but delivery took forever...
She says it was worth the weight.
What do you call a blessed blanket?
Holy sheet
I thought I won the argument with my wife as to how to arrange the dining room furniture... But when I got home, the tables were turned
A man started wearing a blanket to the office.
His colleagues began to suspect he was working undercover...
What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
Oh Sheet
What happens when a closet goes into fighting?
It turns into a wardrobe.
Which noble man loves sitting at a round table?
Sir Cumference
How do you call an extremely soothing table?
A console
I'm never sure if I like rocking chairs or not.
I go back and forth on them
I started sleeping on the left side of the bed
It just doesn't feel right.
My wife said we needed to have a serious talk about my obsession with furniture.
I said we could table it for now.
I think i spent way too much on this table. It is just not a foldable.
I know a good joke about Ikea furniture, but I'm still putting it together.
How many drum sets can you store on a sofa?
One per cushion
What kind of blanket has the most patience?
A weighted blanket.
Go to BabaMail
