Did you hear about the new book called "100 Miles to the Next Restroom"?
It's by Will E. Mayket and Betty Wunt.
How do you know the moon is going broke?
It's down to its last quarter.
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
"Let's have some skele-fun."
What’s the difference between a worm and pumpkin?
Have you ever tried worm pie?
I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
A man with spine cancer walks up to his friend
His friend notices that the man is holding his back while walking up to him
His friend asks "What's wrong?".
The man says "My back is killing me".
How will a crow with a cold fever sound like? Caw-ph, Caw-ph.
Mark Knopfler is opening a Chinese restaurant
He's calling it Wok of Life.
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
Who is the most famous actor in Greece ?
John Travolta.
When the gladiators fought lions
it was always the mane event
Why are wintertime fortune tellers so reliable?
They can see what is mitten in the stars.
What's an owl's favorite rock band?
The Who
You did a grape job raisin me. Happy birthday!
Look for a rainbow connection.
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
What kind of beer can you make from a potato?
Spud Light.
Why was the door glass?
Because the door was ajar
What kind of fruit salad is most resistant to sunburn?
The kind with extra melon in.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
Where do you learn about bones?
Osteoclasst.
When the peach pit farewell to his friend, he said, "See you later, peach out".
Do fish go on vacation?
No, because they’re always in school!
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
What is it called when a dinosaur hits a homerun?
A Dino-Score.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
What did the aged cheddar say when his mom told him he couldn’t see a movie that was rated R?
“I’m mature for my age.”
What job did Dracula’s son have on his little league team?
Bat boy!
Why did the slice of bread leave her boyfriend? She thought that he was just too knead-y.
If you photograph your pimples, is zit art?
Where do restless travelers like to go?
To Rome.
Kids and I are making burgers for my wife on Mother's Day....
I hope they meat her expectations
The bartender asked the pirate, "Is that a ship's wheel sticking out of your pants?"
The pirate replied"Aye! It's driving me nuts!"
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, “You guys should know your limits.”
What do you call a koala with no teeth? A gummy bear.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
What do you call a male orange?
Mangerine!
I had a great childhood, I remember my dad would put me in a tire & roll me down the hill all summer.
Those were Goodyears.
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
I was at a party last night, waiting my turn to get to the punch bowl.
Everyone was being very polite, patient and not barging in. I thought to myself, "At last...
a decent punchline"
Tigers are bad at basketball because they have only four feet.
What can you only drink in the Middle East? Dust-Tea.
What's a bats favorite desert? I-Scream!
Working on lab science animals is a real rat race.
What did one slice of bread say to the other before the race?
You’re toast!
What do you call a werewolf escapologist?
Hairy Houdini.
Why did the orange lose his job at the factory? He didn’t concentrate.
Why did the Mexican train robber rob the train?
Because he had a loco-motive.
I told my family this joke about a goat...
They said it was a baaaaad joke.
Go to BabaMail
