Why did the robot decide to go on a summer vacation?
To recharge!
You’re udder-ly perfect.
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
Why does the mushroom always get invited to pizza parties?
Because he’s such a fungi!
One of my friends who hates crows, looked at a flock of crows, I saw murder in his eyes.
What do you get if you put kisses in a blender?
A Smoochie.
Why did the ghost go to the big Labor Day sale? He’s a bargain haunter.
What is a dentist’s favorite hymn?
Crown Him with Many Crowns
What did the salt say when the phosphate asked to bond with it?
"NaCl ater."
Why was the criminal dubbed the Beer Runner let go after being arrested for stealing 23 beers?
'Cause the prosecutors didn't have a case.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
"It's been an emotional day," said the groom. "Even the cake is in tiers."
Come witch me to the party.
Why were the volleyball players always tying in tic tac toe? Each time one of them sets an X, the other player just says O.
The baker just felt this incredible knead to make bread. That’s certainly the truth.
Tie twine to three tree twigs.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
The fruit stutters because it suffers from a peach impediment.
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
Why did the cows have towels? To keep each udder dry.
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
Clean clams crammed in clean cans.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
How did the blind guy from Denver enjoy a bit of apres skiing on Lookout Mountain during the last white-out?
He brought along his skiing-eye dog.
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus.
When is the course too wet to play golf?
When your golf cart capsizes.
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
How did the coconut hit on the pineapple? It said ” you are the pina to my colada.”
I designed a dungeons and dragons weapon for wizards. It's a magical melee weapon shaped like a tome that uses intellect for damage instead of strength.
I call it "Book Club"
What is a good place for bat jokes?
A public bat room.
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
Hitler jokes are rude, Anne Frankly I don't care.
I know a man whose last name is Storm
He has three daughters: Summer, April, and Haley.
Who was the smartest man in the Bible?
Abraham. He knew a Lot.
All you need is a little vitamin sea.
A knew a guy with such a bad gambling addiction, that he gambled his arms, legs, and torso away.
I told him to quit while he was a head.
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.Someone got hurt from a fistful of grass thrown at them with force. When they pressed charges, the cops charged the culprit with physical grass-ault.
The other day my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally gave her a glue stick....
She still isn't talking to me.
What's a nervous person's favorite drink?
Insecuri tea!
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti...
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta.
How can you tell if there's a dinosaur in the refrigerator ? The door won't close!
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
Why isn't the the koala a real bear? He doesn't have the right koalifications.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
I said some stubtly racist stuff to a magpie
She was a victim of my crow aggressions.
Thank brew very much.
Berries are the most fashionista of the fruits, they can really cherry off the wildest outfits.
Go to BabaMail
