“Watch out! The road curves ahead” cried the skeleton.
“It’s spine“ replied the driver.
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What do you call a musician who just saw Medusa?
A rockstar!
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
Why do ghosts and demons get along so well? Demons are a ghoul’s best friend.
Ugh.. I ate too much hummus..
And now I filafel.
Why did the mummy get a divorce?
His wife was a ghoul-digger who was just after his mummy.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
I saw a strawberry with a gun, robbing a man. I am guessing he was in a jam.
What does a frog in Paris eat?
French Flies.
Avoid pier pressure.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
What kind of garden flowers grow in outer space?
Moonflowers, Sunflowers, Star Clusters, and Cosmos.
Strawberries are berry healthy. They pack a punch when it comes to beating cancer and other diseases.
Why is the French Prime Minister never seen in the morning?
Becasue he is pm not am!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea-weed.
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
A new bakery in town began ding extremely well. They said that business was definitely on the rise.
Our lobster neighbors never give us gifts during the holidays!
They’re so shellfish.
People find laundry therapeutic...
Because it takes a load off their mind.
What did the watermelon wife say to his stinky husband? You’ve got a strange smelon you today.
What do mosquitoes and relatives have in common?
They both share your blood.
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
The loveliest subject in schools History because it has so many dates.
"Let's have some skele-fun."
What kind of music are balloons afraid of? Pop Music.
My grandfather had the heart of a tiger
And a lifetime ban at the zoo
Gordon Ramsey shouted at Queen Mary because she was burning everything.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
What is the result of an art competition? A draw.
You know what really bugs me?
Insect puns.
What do you call a detective from the Reformation?
Martin Sleuther.
The only ship that has never docked on their harbor is the premiership.
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
Q: Why did the tiger cross the road?
A: To stop the zebra crossing.
Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.
What do you drive in a river? An otter-mobile.
What did the dough say after half an hour in the oven?
I’m bready.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
Mom: Did you watch the movie with the little pumpkins?
Dad: I stopped it early because it was too gourdy for me.
I'm beginning to suspect that the Tinnitus Hotline isn't actually staffed
Any time I call, it just keeps ringing.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
- Dad, where are the DVDs? Where's Shrek, I want to watch it.
- Somewhere ogre there.
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
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