Which color is a zebra's base color? The debate is endless, and there is no clear answer.
It both is and isn't a black-and-white issue.
When the strawberry's favorite song came on, he exclaimed "That's my jam!"
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
What do you call the Tooth Fairy in a lamp?
A Hygenie.
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
As I am walking towards my classroom, I get to know that my miss-is-sippi-ng my glass of water.
As soon as the plane was invented, things started looking up.
What game do some skiers like to play on the road trip to the slopes?
Ice Spy With My Little Ice.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
The sweetest and fruitiest historical wonder of the world is the Grape Wall of China.
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
Whoops, wrong sub.
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
So I was cleaning my spice cabinet...
and now I have a lot of thyme on my hands!
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
Why didn’t the teacher want to fart in front of anyone?
He was a private tootor.
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
Why do fluorescent lights hum? Because they can’t remember the words.”
Why did Chanel sue a company which came out with its own "No. 5" perfume?
They thought it was a fragrant violation of the law.
What do apres-ski participants in white-out blizzard conditions eat for lunch?
Icebergers. BRR!
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
What did the duck say when the waitress came?
Put it on my bill.
No one can accuse this trip of being plane.
Do you want to know what you get when you cross a newborn snake with a basketball? Really! Ooh you will end up with a bouncing baby boa.
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
Why did the T-Rex eat hamburgers? Because he is a meat eater!
I just saw a man slumped over a lawn mower crying his eyes out.
he's just going through a rough patch.
How can you tell if a crab is drunk?
It walks straight
Why do bananas like to use sunscreen?
Because they peel!
What is a giraffe’s favorite fruit?
Necktarines.
How did the fire ant feel after the rain storm flooded his home?
Very put out, indeed!
Drink happy thoughts.
"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
What do polite whales always say?
You’re whale-come.
Did you know that a group of crows is called a murder?
Well, technically it’s only a murder if there’s probable caws.
If a lion is the king of the jungle...
Then shouldn’t they call it a reignforest?
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth.
Turns out, they’re all bark and no bite.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Ears.
Ears who?
Ears one more beaver joke for you.
What did Dracula say when he saw a giraffe for the first time?
I’d like to get to gnaw you.
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
Two sodium atoms are walking down the street. Suddenly one says “Oh, my God, I’ve lost an electron!” The other says “Lost an electron! Are you sure?” and the first replies “Yes, I’m positive!”
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
Ugh.. I ate too much hummus..
And now I filafel.
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