I’m putting an official ban on rabbit puns. They are not bunny anymore.
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw? Because they don't know how to cook it.
Which servant of God was the worst lawbreaker in the Bible?
Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake?
“What’s eating you?”
What chord does jesus play on guitar?
Gsus
The most useless room in a ghost's home in the living room.
When she saw all the madness around her, March said, “what’s all that bracket”.
As I handed my dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said
"You know, one would have been enough."
Why can’t I ever win a game returning serve? Give me a break.
Did you hear about the man who had nothing else to do so drilled into his own head?
He was bored to death.
More places are charging fees to iron my clothes after they launder them...
I guess the free press is under siege!
On a lazy laser raiser lies a laser ray eraser.
Today I donated my old basketball hoop to a school for the blind.
It will be missed.
What did the artist say to his old friend? Let's clay in touch.
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced?
It's a buccaneer
Is it possible to scare a sasquatch out of your yard by tossing eggs at him?
Only if you eggs-terminate him.
Why did the bat walk in her pijamas to take a bath?
Because she did not have a bat robe.
Trumpester: Did you hear my last recital? Friend: I hope so.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
Sasquatch often gets mistaken for Bigfoot.
Yeti never complains.
If man’s bet friend is a dog, would a unicorns best friend be a corn dog?
First time hunters were arguing over which kind of animal tracks they had found when they were hit by a train.
Those who steal trains must have a loco–motive!
All these years of technological developments and I still haven’t seen a colour photo of a zebra.
I told my husband that the National Zoo's sloth bear gave birth but ate two of the three babies. He said "now she's guilty of 2 deadly sins: sloth and gluttony."
Why did the corn farmer go to jail?
He was stalking someone in a field.
My mom is really soup-rised at the outcome when she puts yeast in the broth.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
What did Prince leave on the neck of his guitar?
Finger prince.
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
What do you call a group of dyslexic crows?
A redrum.
No one can accuse this trip of being plane.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
What's a barista's favorite morning mantra? Rise and grind.
Will you, William? Will you, William? Will you, William?
Can't you, don't you, won't you, William?
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
Never marry an archaeologist!
They're always digging up the past.
Why did the two puns go to camp together?
They wanted to be pun-kmates!
If two vampires have a race, will it be neck and neck?
"Partners in wine."
What type of art do skeletons like?
Skulltures!
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Why don’t bats sleep like the rest of us?
They can't get the hang of it.
What happens if a big ghoul steps on Batman and Robin?
They become flatman and ribbon!
Ed Belfour's new contract offer isn't high compared to other goal tenders.
You’re turtle-ly awesome.
What always succeeds? A toothless parrot! (sucks seeds)
Go to BabaMail
