Sleigh queen, sleigh.
Why do old artists never die? They just put things in perspective.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
What did the unicorn tell the bag of beans? U-no-corn.
What was the turkey suspected of? Fowl play.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
"Lazy bones."
What sound did the gun make when the priest shot through two benches to kill a mass shooter?
PEW PEW
What do you call a truck-load of tortoises crashing into a train-load of terrapins?
A turtle disaster.
What car make did the Apostles drive?
Honda… because the apostles were all in one Accord.
Why are bananas never lonely?
Because they hang around in bunches.
"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
I usually sing with a deep voice. But when I wash my hands,
I sing faucetto.
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
I keep a log.
How do werewolves eat lunch?
They wolf it down.
What is a ghost peppers favorite Leonardo Dicaprio film? Catch me if you Cayenne.
Panda ghosts love to eat bam-boo.
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
Me: Can I get XL shirts here?
Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
What is a pink bird's favorite dance? Flamin-tango.
Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out.
He came, he thawed, he conquered.
My sinks been on deaths door for the past week or so...
I finally decided to pull the plug.
Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice
In a romantic date, Romeo says to Juliette “Baby! You are the pineapple of my eyes!”
The lobster is one shell of an animal.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.
I started watching soccer because I could see it’s very relevant to my life.
Little to no goals.
"Just one hot chick."
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
Let’s take a leaf of faith.
My friend has an excellent nose for wine...
It's shaped like a corkscrew!
The goal nine yards
To begin to toboggan first buy a toboggan, but don’t buy too big a toboggan. Too big a toboggan is too big a toboggan to buy to begin to toboggan.
What does the Ghost say when he sneezes? - Ach-ooooooooooooooooooooo!
What do you call a cherry that is hard as nails? Tough as old fruits.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
What vegetable lives in your heart?
Beets.
What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?
Lorry-el
You better watch out before you play a game with any bread? Baguette ready to lose.
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
What do you call a dead flamingo?
A flaminghost.
Don't get too close to a vampire, they have a serious case of bat breath.
The jam bank went bankrupt because of the series of strobberies in the last quarter.
Mascara and lipstick broke up last week.
Now they are trying to make-up!
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal? Megadeth by Chocolate.
Go to BabaMail
