What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
Why do golfers love donuts?
Always a hole-in-one!
Do you want to hear a joke about a bolt of lightning?
Actually, maybe not. The end is rather shocking.
You’ll be Dublin your fortune soon.
What do you call a flamingo that flew into a wall?
A flamingstop.
What do you call a werewolf with no legs?
Anything you like – he can’t chase you.
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
Crossbows are great, but they have their drawbacks.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
So engineering school is really hard.
I'm not doing so hot in thermodynamics.
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Which superstar has a nose for the puck? Mario the Magsniffascent.
-
I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail.
But apparently, you're not allowed to end a sentence with a proposition.
What’s so great about whiteboards?
If you think about it, they’re pretty re-markable!
When you push a strawberry down a hill, you make a strawberry turnover.
This vacation has been sand-sational!
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
What type of films should players watch to improve their shot? Slap stick.
The navy is now taking dogs along on their submarines
They're subwoofers
What do you call a lazy spud? A couch potato.
So you live in the seventh most populous city in France?
Must be Nice.
What is the musical part of a snake?
The scales.
Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen.
What should you do if a car is annoying you.
Give the car a head rest.
What type of flooring do alligators have in their homes?
Rep-tiles.
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving? The turkey because he's already stuffed!
Did you hear ISIS is spreading to Italy?
Nobody's concerned though, since it's just Italian ISIS and they're delicious. Especially cherry flavor.
Why do Minotaurs make terrible detectives?
Because they hate to go on steak-outs!
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
Which dinosaur is pure evil? Daemonosaurus.
What do you call Santa when he accidentally falls into the fireplace? Krisp Kringle.
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? A dirty kid.
What did the Turkey wear on Halloween?
He was a goblin.
When Berry the dog dug up the woman's strawberry patch, she angrily exclaimed "That is the final straw, Berry."
What if the earth was both round and flat?
Would it be called cylindearth?
What is the best type of nut for your home wall decor? A walnut.
What do you call someone who acts like a piece of fish poop?
A bassturd.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
Why was the mother rattlesnake sad?
The time had come for her children to strike out on their own.
I'm thinking about writing a book about lamps. I think its a bright idea
What did the water in the fire truck say when it came to a sudden stop?
I'm baffled.
Why are two parrots better than one? One parrot can't carry a coconut, but toucan!
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.
Spread it thick, say it quick!
Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.
Spread it thicker, say it quicker!
Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.
Don't eat with your mouth full!
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
What should be the name of the knight who the King has appointed to carry a census of the land? He goes by the name Sir Vey.
Go to BabaMail
