What do you call a Mongolian leader who got struck by lightning
Shocka Khan.
Why did the vegetable thief wet his pants?
Because he took a leek!
Dust is a disk's worst enemy.
Two bananas married without realising they were from the same tree.
They really split over it. It was a really slippery ordeal and peeled them apart.
Their romance started by candlelight.
But it only lasted a wick.
What do you get when you mix a sheep and a kangaroo
A wooly jumper
English can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain?
Hi, Cliff!
What do cannibals eat for dessert? Chocolate covered aunts.
Football is one habit I will never kick.
What was it like to fight Medusa?
- At first I was afraid, then I was petrified...
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, was it Red Bull that gave you wings, or are you just an angel?
My neighbor was walking across the street while carrying the game Scrabble then suddenly dropped it, leaving the game board and pieces on the ground.
I said: “Hey Jeff! What’s the word on the street?”
What's an albino crow called? A caw-casian.
My favourite jokes are skeleton puns
Why? I find them humorous.
How did the beaver introduce his wife? This is my significant otter.
How do you catch a monkey?
Climb a tree and act like a banana.
Why did the girl walk into the ice cream store with an umbrella?
She heard there were going to be sprinkles
When I refused to have the soup, my sister said "People who do not have soup are stew-pid".
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
Can one tropical bird change a lightbulb?
No, but toucan.
What do you drink before you audition for "The Voice" ? Tea-Lo Green
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
What is the difference between a panda and a polar bear?
About 1,000 miles.
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
The skeleton ordered a cabernet wine with a full body because he didn't have one.
I have an idea for a chain of Elvis steak houses.
It will be for people who love meat tender.
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
I decided to switch to a knife to preserve my ammo.
The guys at Laser Tag started freaking out though.
Did you hear about the volleyball players who are getting married? They say it was love at first spike.
My pet owl will soon turn 180.
He's not old, he just has a bad neck.
How do camels blend in?
With camel-flage
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
I’d like to tell you folks a joke about paper, but It’s tearable.
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
She was wheeled to the operating room, but then she underwent a change of heart.
She'll take whatever beans necessary to get her daily cup of coffee. Whatever. Beans. Necessary.
Rivers are...
the original streaming service.
Pugs and kisses.
Q: What did the leaf say to the wind?
A: You really blew me away.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
What was the Peach's favorite surf band from the 60's? The Peach Boys.
*nurse flips on a light switch*
“The Doctor will see you now.”
Reindeer don't go to school—they're elf taught.
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
Did you hear about the boy who had to do a project on trains? He had to keep track of everything!
I had a birth defect where they had to relocate my heart
I guess you could say my heart wasn't in the right place.
A new men's cologne is in development which smells of electric eels shocking a Silicon Valley giant.
Its called Eel-on Musk.
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