What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
What did the nut say when it caught on fire? Roast-nuts, almond fire!
What does a bowler and a Thanksgiving guest have in common?
They both want a Turkey.
What can you serve and never eat? A volleyball!
Yoda one for me!
Apples are red. Grapes are blue. Pineapples are sweet. And so are you.
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
What do you call an imaginary color?
A pigment of your imagination.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
What did the flower say to the flower next to him? Move over bud!
England doesn't have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
My weekend is fully booked.
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
A friend failed his medical exam when he X-rayed his lower torso.
He didn’t put his heart into it.
Which Bible Character is a locksmith?
Zaccheus.
Tie twine to three tree twigs.
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
Sip, sip, horray!
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What do you call a giant gorilla with pean u t butter in one ear and Jam in the other?
Anything you want, he's not going to hear you!
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
I got arrested at work today for moving my desk away from the air conditoner vent.
I was charged with draft-dodging!
What do you say if you lose a game on St. Patrick's Day?
Game clover.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
An astronaut who normally fails on a weightlessness experiment, might surely be aware of the gravity of the situation.
Why didn’t anyone laugh at the gardener’s jokes?
Because they were too corny!
What do math and history have in common?
They both teach people about inequalities.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
If you are going to sleep, I wish you suite dreams.
Flamingo parents are really cute with their babies. You should see them playing Beak a Boo.
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
How does a dual agent sleep?
Well, first he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
What did the worm say to his friend when he got stuck in pumpkin?
Worm your way out of that one!
How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
What's brown, lumpy, and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven's Last Movement
Why are houseflies great at arithmetics? Because they multiply really fast.
I like New York, unique New York, I like unique New York.
What's the first tea that comes in a teapot?
empytea
More places are charging fees to iron my clothes after they launder them...
I guess the free press is under siege!
How do you make dog bread? You use collie flour.
Hunting elephants is illegal as ivory well know.
Go to BabaMail
