One strawberry said to the other, “Were it not that you were so sweet, you wouldn’t have ended up in this jam.”
Which films is the car’s favourite?
WiperBlade 1, 2 and Trinity.
Longfellow is the known poet of basketball.
What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
My bedroom now has a stained glass window....
A pigeon just flew right into it.
My pet raven, Poe, started coughing... thought it was Corvid-19, but then the bird flu away. Think I will see him nevermore.
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
What does a baby volcano say to his volcano mother?
Magma
What game do bats like to play with birds?
Bat-mington.
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
What did man say to the guacamole?
Avocado crush on you.
A never-ending natural supply of beer?
Hops springs eternal.
What kind of doctor checks ghost poo?
A ghost-roenterologist.
How do you measure a mosquito’s harddrive?
With bug bytes.
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
I was sailing my boat when a massive hand rose out of the water and then slowly disappeared...
I thought, 'That's the biggest wave I've ever seen!'
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend but he kept asking her for another shot.
Fishing you a happy day.
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
How do flowers kiss?
With their tulips
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
Can you can a canned can into an un-canned can like a canner can can a canned can into an un-canned can?
I lost a cooking challenge once for not completing the dish.
I ran out of thyme.
What is the only thing that can cure a sick do-nut?
An antidought!
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
My parents used my Uber to go and file the application ending their marriage.
I gave the driver one star. He drove my parents to divorce.
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
Why do squirrels like to sit on telephone poles?
To stay away from the nuts on the ground.
The therapist asked my wife why she wanted to end our marriage. She said she hated all the constant Star Wars puns. I look at the therapist and said, "Divorce is strong with this one!"
When I arrived onset on a cloudy, dreary day, too many actors had been hired for the small part...
It was overcast.
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
Giraffe: The highest form of animal life.
I passed my degree in sound engineering. I got 1-2-1-2!
The artist thought she was all that and pen some.
All my neighbours bought the same set of stereos...
When will they stop stereotyping?
Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out.
I used to be indecisive; now I'm not so sure
Why do vampires need cold medicine?
For their coffin.
How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
I asked the land beside the ocean if he was certain he wasn't beach.
But he was pretty shore.
Is it acceptable to take the epidermis from your butt and graft it onto a buddy?
Ass skin for a friend.
What did one leaf say to the other leaf?
I’ve fallen for you.
I didn't want to believe my husband was robbing golf courses...
But I couldn't ignore the red flags!
Go to BabaMail
