What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
Gladiator.
Some see a puddle of mosquito larva.
I see a pool of enbitenment.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
Moisturize the air!
As fast as humidly possible.
What kind of ice cream to electricians eat?
Shock a lot.
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
What do fruits look for at a talent show? A berry that can really cherry a tune.
I’m stuck on you like igloo.
I saw the chicken quickly crossing the basketball court? Then I remembered that the referee was blowing fowls.
How does a snake shoot something?
With a boa and arrow.
I just got a new bathtub
But we dont have to get into that right now
Salty but sweet.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
In every corny joke,
There is a kernel of truth.
Why do they put fences around graveyards? Because people are dying to get in!
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
What was the pianist doing at the mall?
Chopin.
Aliens hate playing golf in space as there are too many black holes!
How did Reese eat her ice cream? Witherspoon.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
What's worse than lobsters on your piano?
Crabs on your organ!
Many people think that the Abominable Snowman doesn't exist...
Yeti does.
If that’s the case, would it be wrong to say that the unfaithful watermelon had an illegitimate daughtermelon?
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
What's a frog's favorite flower?
A croakus.
What do you call a small mosque in Spain?
A mosquito!
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
I yam what I yam.
Ow did the millionaire gardener get rich so quickly?
He was running a huge pansy scheme.
How do you make cheese even better?
You use a cheese grater of course!
I love you meow and forever.
What kind of ears do trains have?
Engineers.
I hate when I have to stop scuba diving
If makes me deep-pressed
What did the fisherman say to the card magician? Take a cod, any cod.
What would a barefoot man get if he stepped on an electric fence? A pair of shocks.”
Why cant a mosquito stand on his feet?
because they dont have mosquiTOES.
What is a medieval owl called?
A knight owl.
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
The fruit teacher taught figures of peach in today's class.
Who makes dinosaur clothes? dino-sewer.
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
I'm going to combine my interests of taxidermy and bomb making
by making you an otter you can't defuse.
I like telling dad jokes.
Sometimes he laughs.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
Snow on and snow forth.
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