How will you have communion in the space if you won’t have mass?
If a man is alone in the garden and speaks, and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?
Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P.
When we spill soup on the comic book, we will get soup-erman.
My banana grandad got in an accident last year, he bruised like a peach!
What do magician avocados say?
Avocadabra!
What’s a calendars favorite fruit?
Dates.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing it just waved.
The stage is the most hygienic place in the world. Every time we turn on the lights they get a wash.
For years, my brother wanted to be an archeologist...
But ten years in, his career lies in ruins.
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
What's black, white, orange, and waddles? A penguin carrying a Jack-o-lantern.
What did the ocean say to the pirate?
Nothing, it just waved!
What’s black and white and yellow?
A cowardly panda.
Where does a baby monkey sleep?
In an apricot.
What do you call a rubber bumper on a yacht?
A shark absorber.
Did you hear about the neutron who was arrested?
He was released without charge.
Seth at Sainsbury's sells thick socks.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
What’s the scariest koala movie ever made? The Bear Witch Project.
There is no glory in practice, but without practice there can be no glory. This volleyball pun is very inspirational. For you to do your best, you have to be willing to practice.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
Because it takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
What did the Teddy Bear say after blowing out his birthday candles? No cake for me…I’m stuffed
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
Denise sees the fleece,
Denise sees the fleas.
At least Denise could sneeze
and feed and freeze the fleas
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
What did the pillow say when the blanket asked it to come hang out?
I'm down
What do you call a goat swimming in the sea?
Billy Ocean.
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
Why do owls shower so often?
So they don’t smell fowl.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
There are two skeleton teachers at school. One is humerus, but the other is very sternum.
I was supposed to play the trumpet
But I blew it.
Blue and green stopped fighting because they had agreed on peace teal.
How does Big Foot find his way through the deepest darkest forests?
He just follows the big footpath!
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
The local motorway has become blocked after a truck shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes.
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...
A classical musician bought a Stradivari violin
Now he is quite Baroque.
Police were called to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
Do you be-leaf in magic?
What did the bowl of soup write on their Valentine?
I love you pho real.
Why is Mrs Mayo mad at Mr Ketchup?
She caught him watching the salad dressing again.
What do you call a cow who’s just given birth?
De-calf-inated!
Where did the nut keep his money?
In his cash shoe.
Go to BabaMail
