What did mother werewolf say to the naughty boy werewolf?
- We're werewolves, not swear-wolves.
I’m ready to shamrock and roll.
How did the beaver introduce his wife? This is my significant otter.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
People who use sleeping bags in the woods are soft tacos for bears.
Berries are the most fashionista of the fruits, they can really cherry off the wildest outfits.
What kind of tea do babies drink? Tit Tea.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
The worst part about being a giraffe…
Is having a lot of time to think about your mistakes when you’re sinking into quicksand.
I saved a tiny baby crow and now he won't leave, I guess you could say he's mi-cro.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
What do you call the worlds tallest mosquito?
Himalarya.
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
The orange was really sad at the event because it had no peelings whatsoever for the desperate prune.
A woman is on trial for beating her significant other with a guitar. “First offender?” the judge asked.
“No” she replied. “First a Gibson , then a Fender”.
I was trying to reshape the border of my backyard when my neighbors' fence fell over...
Wrong post.
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
A surgeon was about to perform heart surgery when he received notice that the replacement was delivered to his house!
Home is where the heart is.
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
I handed my dad a calculator for his birthday. with a dissapointed scowl on his face, he asked me: "Wheres the pi?"
Where do point guards take their dates to party after the game?
To a basket ball.
So you live in the seventh most populous city in France?
Must be Nice.
Where do you go to weigh a pie? Somewhere over the rainbow.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
What kind of ghoul has the best hearing?
The eeriest!
What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?
The Mazda-lorian
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
If a monkey has thirty bananas in one hand and forty bananas in the other hand, what does he have?
Very big hands.
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
If prisoners could take their own mug shots...
Would they be called cellfies?
My dad used to crack jokes standing above our fireplace.
Now he's passed the mantle on to me.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
I applied to be a sperm donor recently and the nurse asked me if I could masturbate in the cup.
I told her I’ve done it a few times before but I don’t know if I’m ready to compete in a tournament.
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
What do you call a lazy goat?
Billy Idle.
The winds of change started raining silver, copper, and gold coins.
What did the fairy say to the other fairy?
It’s fairy nice to meet you!
What’s black and white with red spots?
A panda with the measles.
"No body won the skeleton race."
What do dogs like to drink? Kit-Tea.
Why do kids love to clean out the cookie jar for Halloween? To make room for Halloween candy.
You make miso happy.
Why wasn’t the little pumpkin allowed to swim?
There was no life gourd on duty!
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
The artist successfully climbed the highest peak in the country. He attributed his success to the song, 'Paint No Mountain Higher!'
What did the orange say to the lemon?
"'yello!"
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
Go to BabaMail
