What do you call luggage made of snakeskin?
Ex-hiss baggage.
Q: How does a tiger stop a video?
A: By pressing paws.
What do you call a man with no legs and no arms resting on a porch?
Matt.
The ghost scared all the boys who ventured into the haunted house and then varnished into the almirah!
What medication does a snake with hay fever take?
An antihissstamine.
Why don't anarchists drink green tea?
Because it helps fight free radicals.
What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
I tried to come up with a funny theatre joke, but it was all just an act.
Where do the astronauts park their vehicles? At the parking meteors.
Dust is a disk's worst enemy.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
What do you call an ear with no eyes
No-eyed ear
Why did the volleyball player join the marines? To serve our country.
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What do you call a clairvoyant midget who has escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
How does a car begin telling you bad news?
‘I hate to brake it to you…’
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
I live on top of the mountain and i usually have 99 problems
But the beach ain't one
Baby flamingos really are badly behaved. I think it’s because their parents never put their foot down.
What do you call young avocados?
Avokiddos.
What is the difference between a geologist and a chemist? A chemist will drink anything that is distilled. A geologist will drink anything that is fermented.
How do you know your eating rabbit soup? When there's a hare in it.
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
How did the close race between the rabbit and the tortoise end? It was won by a hare!
What’s a vampire’s favorite type of dog?
A blood hound.
I told my son to go find out what "nada" means in english
But he came back with nothing
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
I love you berry much.
Once upon a time, there was a king who loved traveling through tunnels. The people gave him the name: Alex-Under."
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
“Conjunctivitis.com — that’s a site for sore eyes.”
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
What’s black and white and very noisy?
A panda with a set of drums.
What's a nervous person's favorite drink?
Insecuri tea!
Synonym rolls: just like grammar used to make.
What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ? Find somewhere else to sleep!
Have you ever heard of the Poder bird?
It is also known as the Toucan
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
I just found out you should never put a bar of soap in the dishwasher.
It's hand wash only.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz?
He wasn’t too bright.
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
What did the snowplow guy say when his equipment broke down?
Take this job and shovel it!
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
Garden centers are attempting to stem a fall in the sale of fresh flowers.
Go to BabaMail
