What is a strawberry's favorite music band? Pearl Jam.
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.Someone got hurt from a fistful of grass thrown at them with force. When they pressed charges, the cops charged the culprit with physical grass-ault.
What is the wealthiest nut ever?
“A cashooo.”
Vampires love corny jokes and puns. I don't think they're funny, but it's probably to do with them being pun-dead.
When the egg saw the pan, it was terri-fried.
It’s common for people with heartbreaks to crumble.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
What’s a skeletons favorite wrestling event?
A rib cage match.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
Waddaya get when you cross a cowboy with an Egyptian Pharaoh?
Darn Tutankhamun!
Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
What does a caped monkey superhero drive?
A banana-mobile.
I'm a sock cutter and I cut socks.
I'm a sock cutter and I cut socks.
I'm a sock cutter and I cut socks.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
Did you know Doctor Frankenstein used to be a lonely, lonely man?
Then he learned how to make friends.
I told my brother not to stand too close to the trees in our backyard.
I don't know why, but they seem shady.
I was alone in the bath.
Imagine my surprise when I felt a tap on my shoulder!
Why do sailors eat shellfish when rain is forecast?
It’s the clam before the storm.
The watermelon plant didn’t like sharing a garden with passion vines; but they started to grow on him.
What do you call a Rabbi who works with solvents?
An acidic Jew.
"That was a howling adventure!" said the werewolf to the zombie.
What do you call a Mongolian leader who got struck by lightning
Shocka Khan.
Why is the strawberry loved dearly by everyone? Because it is berry sweet.
What happened when an icicle landed on the skier's head?
It knocked him out cold!
Why did the belt get arrested? Because he held up a pair of pants. What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.
What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo? Bronco-saurus or a Tyrannasourus Tex
Know what kind of cookies rich people love? Fortune cookies.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
Tigers are like army soldiers. They both grow up to earn some stripes.
Whale, whale, whale, what do we have here?
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw?
Because they don’t know how to cook it.
What do you drink if you want to freshen your breath? Mint-Tea.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
We are thinking of spending the night at the peach house, by the shore.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What do you call luggage made of snakeskin?
Ex-hiss baggage.
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
One day, my stepfather ordered some fish tacos. I asked him what kind of fish goes in a fish taco.
He said, "Dead."
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
What do you get from an Alaskan cow ? Ice Cream
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
A navigator.
Why did the cosmonaut take his dog to the vet?
He came down with a stellar case of lunar tics.
Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark?
Because Noah was standing on the deck.
“A mistle-toast to the holiday season.”
Why did the elephant cross the road?
To get to the peanut.
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