Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Butter.
Butter who?
I butter nut tell you.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
Why should you you stand on the service line? So that you can order ice cream.
Why do owls shower so often?
So they don’t smell fowl.
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
Why did Santa send his daughter to college? To keep her off the North Pole.
A man likes sending random stuff to his friends through the mail because he finds it funny.
This particular time the man takes some lettuce to the post office to ship to a friend from back home.
He tries to package it up but it won't fit unless he cuts it into smaller peices. He cuts it up and stuffs it in a large envelope, however he forgets to write out and attach a shipping label. He doesn't realize his mistake at the time and brings it to the counter to send.
The postal workers says: "You can't send a salad like that, it needs adressing".
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
I quit my job as a scuba diving instructor after my first day at work.
Deep down I realized it wasn’t for me.
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
What do you call a group of nuts? A nut
Why did the monkey like the banana? Because it had appeal!
What do you call the last skeleton on earth?
The end-o skeleton.
Why do bees hum?
Because they don't know the words.
Many mumbling mice are making merry music in the moonlight.
Tobacco companies have made an orange flavored cigarette?
“They call it “Nico-tang”
What do you call a Spanish goat with no hind legs?
Gracias.
Why did the hare go to the taco truck?
He couldn't beat the tortas.
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
Which candy do astronauts like? Marsbar.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
What is a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai tree.
Why are fisherman so stingy?
Their jobs make them sel-fish!
Why do Russian teapots have to go to bed early?
Because samovars have to work tomorrow.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb? He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.”
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
What do you call it when dress up like a cowboy?
Ranch dressing
What kind of celebration pays down the national debt? A tea party.
What do you call a nut who works hard? One who burns the mid-nut oil.
What do you call a boy and girl playing blues music? The battle of the saxes.
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
Birdie birdie in the sky laid a turdie in my eye.
If cows could fly I’d have a cow pie in my eye.
Wondering about a peach's favorite sci-fi novel? It's 'When You Peach Me'.
What do you call a Blind Dinosaur's Dog? Do-ya-think-he-saurus-rex.
What happened when the semi-colon broke grammar laws?
He was given two consecutive sentences.
What's the sweetest moment in a hockey game? When they're icing the puck.
What do you call grass that waits until the last minute to grow?
A Prograsstinator
Why do thieves have a hard time understanding puns?
Because they take things literally!
You'd never get a rainbow in the red of night.
On which day do tiger eat people?
Chewsday
Broccoli: I look like a tree. Walnut: I look like a brain. Mushroom: I look like an umbrella. Banan Can we change the topic?
What is a koala’s favorite Christmas carol? Deck the halls with boughs of holly, koala-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!!!
Q: What did the old orange see before it died?
A: The grim ripe-r.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
What is a skeleton’s favorite TV show?
Bone-anza!
Go to BabaMail
