Fish taco says why don't you want to taco about it And the nacho says cause I'm nacho friend.
Dracula really doesn't have any other vampire friends. It's because he's a total pain in the neck.
Nothing really mattress.
Why did Rome Fall?
Because it slipped on some Greece.
I once convinced my younger brother to swallow a small lamp.
I got in so much trouble but it was worth it to see his little face light up.
Q. Which Louisville race exclusively features buck and stag contestants?
A. The Kentucky Deer-by.
I’m fondue you.
I cannoli be happy
Why did the beaver cross the river? To get to the other side of the river.
When I play my violin it always sounds like it's crying
It's must be too highly strung
How will you come to know when the moon will go broke? It would happen when moon is down to its last quarter.
What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was egg-spelled.
I got a pear stuck in my toilet. All I needed to do was flush and it was gone.
Because a flush always beats a pair.
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.The Peach President lost the presidential race because he got im-peached.
What did one plate say to his friend? Tonight, dinner’s on me!
Grass absorbs nutrients always by the process of grass-imilation.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
On a lazy laser raiser lies a laser ray eraser.
Why did the house make an appointment with the doctor?
It had a window-pane.
What do you call someone who tells too many dinosaur jokes?
A dino-bore.
Went to a railway fancy dress party. Everyone was wearing platforms.
Q: What happens when two oranges collide?
A: They get en-tang-led!
I got shampoo in my eyes while showering today.
My husband said, "That must've been an eye-soapening experience."
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
It wasn’t my idea to get bidet...
But now I kinda like the little squirt.
Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
When you offered me love, I lepton it!
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
What did the pineapple say to the pineapple chunk? Stay golden.
What do bakers tell their children at night?
Breadtime stories.
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
Apples and oranges had a conversation one day. Guess what the apples were saying the oranges, nothing stupid, apples don’t talk.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
Did you hear about the vampire who only had one fang?
He just had to grin and bare it.
My friend bought a different toothpaste this time...
It was a nice change of paste.
This Halloween I'm gourd out of my mind!
Who in the hell names their son “Tiger” ?
Only people in the Woods’
Which Star Wars character was the orange cast for?
Emperor Pulpatine.
Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
My mom said I have no sense of direction
So I packed my bags and right
Did you hear about the doctor who was practicing bee venom therapy without a license?
He was arrested in a sting operation.
I tried to play a bass guitar once.
It didn't make much sound, and it slipped out of my hands and swam away.
Have you heard about a man who became a werewolf?
He was distressed at first, but then he took a lycan to it.
What do you call a glass of pig’s blood?
Swine.
What drink do goalies hate? Penal-tea.
What did the arrogant pickle say?
I'm kind of a big dill.
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