What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time?
You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What type of knife do chefs use to connect to Bluetooth?
A pairing knife
The tiger asked his longtime friend, "Will you be my tigerlfriend."
What party game do rabbits like to play?
Musical Hares!
What is the first time that a volleyball match was talked about in the Bible? When Joseph served in the Pharaoh’s court.
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream?
It was icing on the cake.
It is not uncommon for elephants to start a stampede. Especially if they want to play for the Chargers.
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
What am I? A tea bag you dirty minded human...
What did the beaver say to his girlfriend?
Chew make me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.
Patient: Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." Doctor: Next time, take off the candles.
I told my husband I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
Pan wants to lead his kind to rebellion, but...
He can't get no Satyr Faction.
I said to my son, "There's only one thing about Halloween that scares me."
He asked, "Which is?"
I replied, "Exactly!"
Where did the deer go to fix its tail?
The re-tail shop.
What do you call a werewolf with a fever?
A hot dog.
How are a volleyball coach and a dentist similar? They both use drills.
Why did the electrician marry his colleague? He couldn’t resistor.
Did you hear about the comedian who entertained at a werewolves’ party?
He had them howling all night.
“While I was in the doctor’s waiting room, there was this tiny man, only about six inches tall. Although he was there before me, he let me see the doctor first. I suppose he just had to be a little patient.”
Why did the dinosaur cross the road ? The chicken hadn't evolved yet!
Why could the toilet paper not stop?
Because it was on a role.
The only good pun is a dad pun
but who am I kidding?
Have I given you the tour of my estate yet?
It is a Vauxhall.
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
How many insects do you need to make money from your rental property?
Ten-ants.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
2 flies are playing soccer on a plate.
One says to the other "you'd better pick up your game Louie, we're playing in the cup tomorrow".
Why did the River need Jesus? It was dammed.
If coloured caterpillars could change their colours constantly could they keep their coloured coat coloured properly?
What do you call a tree that grows deodorant, toothpaste and tampons?
A toiletry.
Yesterday’s weather forecast predicted freezing rain. However, it turned out to be quite an ice day.
Many people think that when warm droplets of water in the air are rapidly cooled it forms fog.
But it’s actually a common mist-conception.
Why can’t a fish every play volleyball? They are afraid of the net.
Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing? Just for the halibut!
Why haven't the aliens visited earth yet?
They read the reviews... only one star.
Minding my own business, when someone I thought was my friend threw a serving plate full of bumblebees at me.
I was bee-trayed.
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
“You’re my soul Santa.”
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
There are many grounds religious children can practice their soccer skills. However, most of them love the prayground.
Why did the skeleton go to the daycare?
To get his Kidneys.
It takes one to snow one.
What is a corn's favorite song?
Corn fields forever.
If you make a mistake of playing basketball with pigs, they will hog the ball.
What did the wife beaver say to her astronaut husband? You are otter this world.
What do the guys at the ski repair shop eat their lunch on?
Baseplates.
How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
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