All you need is a little vitamin sea.
What do you call a Roman with a wet mustache and a smile?
Gladiator.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
I can row a boat.
Canoe?
Whenever fall arrives, leaves start changing their color autumn-matically.
How do you know it’s cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get
chocolate ice cream.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
What did the nervous crow do? The crow proceeded with caw-tion.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
Leave poetry to the prose.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
Bruce Lee had a vegan brother,Broco Lee.
I would rather breed mice than crows
Mischief is one thing, but I don't think I can pull off a murder.
Why did the pirate have a pumpkin strapped to his arm?
He was a squash-buckler.
May the mass times acceleration be with you.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
I whale always love you.
How do nurses and doctors keep people from lying about their medical history?
They use the de-FIB-rillator.
What do you call a small Minotaur?
A Minitaur.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
Do you know what the common thing between a pineapple and a king is? Both of them wear a crown proudly on their top.
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
It was an alligrator.
My wife got mad at me for being lazy... It's not like I did something!
How do Chinese people make cutlery?
They chopsticks.
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
The pirate steals arrrrt when he has the chance.
Did you hear about the artist that has been drawing very small, colorful noodles?
He drew an itsy, bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow, polka dot linguini.
When the ghost went to a fancy restaurant, he decided to wear a boo-tie.
Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart"
I couldn't if I tried.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
Did you hear about the orange boxer?
He got beaten to a pulp.
So engineering school is really hard.
I'm not doing so hot in thermodynamics.
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
What do skeletons complain about?
Aching bones.
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
Did you hear about the mother goat telling jokes?
She’s a real kidder.
Congrats on proving that getting older doesn’t mean getting wiser.
Why was the burger sad after losing the race? Because the hotdog was the weiner.
What animal would you most like to be on a cold day?
A little otter...
I had a tattoo of a Scorpion on my back last night and to tell the truth...
It stings like hell.
An angry fruit yells at traffic in front of them
“Mango!”
Q: Why can’t oranges be pirates?
A: They don’t get scurvy.
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
What do you call a snail on a boat?
A snailor.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
What do you call a cab which provides drug therapy? Chemotaxis.
Go to BabaMail
