Where do sharks go when they want a vacation? Finland
Q: What do you call a row of 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
What song did Kenny Rogers write after his cowboy boot broke?
“You picked a fine time to leave me, Loose Heel.”
A wind turbine saw a solar panel at an energy convention. He leaned in and shouted, Hey, I’m a big fan!”
I won an argument about weather forecasting accuracy. My fellow debater's logic was cloudy. After his defeat, he was fuming and he stormed out of the room.
Do you know the easiest way to stop squirrels from playing soccer in your garden is to hide the ball? Well, it drives them nuts.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
What did the koala radio host say before going on a commercial break? “We’re going to take a small paws for our sponsors.”
I’m ready to shamrock and roll.
My bedroom now has a stained glass window....
A pigeon just flew right into it.
The United Nations gave its members a basket of peaches on 21 September - the International Peach Day.
Why wasn’t the giraffe invited to the party?
He was a pain in the neck.
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
What did the koala write in his Valentine’s Day card to his girlfriend? “I love you-calyptus”.
The watermelon plant didn’t like sharing a garden with passion vines; but they started to grow on him.
What do you get if cross a frog with some mist?
Kermit the Fog.
Why do bee keepers have beautiful eyes?
Because they hold bees. (Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder)
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
What’s a gardener’s favorite Harrison Ford film? Raiders of the Lost Bark.
How was the first giraffe made?
Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.
My pen ran out of ink and an ink fairy in the shape of a squid appeared. He said if I let him eat my dinner of shrimp he'd help me out by giving me some ink. The deal smelled kind of fishy, but I needed to finish my homework.
So we did it squid pro quo.
How does a rainbow greet the other weathers? With a yellow of course!
My wife and I went to a turtle pun class yesterday.
It tortoise nothing.
What happens when two coffee lovers disagree on their favorite roast? It turns into a heated debate.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake? "What's eating you?"
Working as a dock hand is hard,
but it's wharf it.
What is yellow on the inside and green on the outside? A banana dressed up as a cucumber !
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
What's worse than a SPIDER on your PIANO?
CRAB on your ORGAN.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
Sinks cannot open doors
Let that sink in.
Have you heard about the chocolate box thief? He’s always got a few Twix up his sleeve.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
Why does nobody invite Jupiter to the space parties? Because he has too much gas, always…
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.
"No eggs-cuses."
What happened to the pirate who lost his peg leg?
He couldn't find it, so he was stumped.
I shot the city sheriff.
I shot the city sheriff.
I shot the city sheriff.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which? Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs.
What do ghouls eat for supper? Spooketi
What do we call a deer that wears a mask and refuses to tell its name?
“Anony – moose.”
What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock his room? A spoo-key.
What's the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
Why couldn't I fry wood on the stove?
I used a non-stick pan.
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