What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
"Is your dishwasher running?"
"Seeing as it doesn't have feet, it does not"
What did God say to the polar bears when they told him they hate spring and summer?
Well, they can't all be winters.
Where does Snowy the snow man hide his money?
In a snow bank.
"I just want some peach and quiet!," said the orange.
I can sea clearly now.
Elephants will toil all day, and they work for peanuts.
How can you hear the sounds of a group of dolphins?
Listen to their podcast.
I saw a beaver and I thought it was odd. Then I saw another semiaquatic creature and I thought it was otter.
What do you drink if you want to freshen your breath? Mint-Tea.
Aloha is a soft laugh.
I sold my cleaning equipment.
It was just collecting dust.
Why did the volleyball player not want to travel? Because he had been there and dug that.
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
Why are apples afraid to grow in the United States? Because they don't want to be as American as apple pie.
My daughter wants a horse...
But first we need a stable income.
I was talking to my Mom the other day and she mentioned that none of her sisters needed the vaccine.
Turned out they already had the auntybodies.
What is a deer’s favorite after-school snack?
“Doe-nuts.”
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
Why did the worm cross the playground?
To get to the underground slide!
Seas the day.
What do you call a person who illegally delivers hugs from country to country?
An international snuggler
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
“Feliz navi-dog!”
How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance!
The pirate steals arrrrt when he has the chance.
What type of dog does Dracula have?
A bloodhound.
You have me greening from ear to ear.
The Queen of the Nile was said to always show a bit of leg...
but Nefertiti.
Never marry an archaeologist!
They're always digging up the past.
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.
What do you call a fairy that doesn’t like to shower?
Stinkerbell.
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
Q: What happens to a cherry tree when it grows up?
A: It blossoms
What kind of vest should you wear in the fall?
A har-vest.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
Tis the sea-sun.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
Ever heard of French Donuts?
They’re the Beigne of my existence.
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
What's long, surprisingly bigger than expected, comes in different colors, and everyone wants a ride from?
A limousine.
Her name is Carly and she's a doctor
maybe I should C A Rly good doctor.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.
What's the opposite of Green Tea? Fat-Tea.
What do pups eat in Italy?
Pawsta.
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
Go to BabaMail
