What did the cowboy say when he bought a yo yo.
This ain't my first yo yo!
When you cross summer sun with summer pun you get summer fun.
The big cat was known around town to wear a lot of funky ties. Everyone called him the tie-ger.
Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!
I love lamps.
They're so enlightening.
What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
A pickle store is giving out their new tea-flavored pickles on the street today
I tried some and I guess they tasted quite a-tea-pickle.
Q: What is a wind turbine’s favorite musical group?
A: Air Supply
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
I booked an appointment at the orthopedist for my whole family.
We got joint problems.
What is the hippest kind of fruit? A bae-nae-nae.
I have an idea for a chain of Elvis steak houses.
It will be for people who love meat tender.
A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts,
“Hey, are you a caiman?”
The alligator replies, “I’m alright, thanks, kid!”
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, was it Red Bull that gave you wings, or are you just an angel?
How does the moon take a bath?
It has meteor showers!
What’s the best view you can get in our galaxy? A view of the milky way from mars.
There was a flamingo in our garden for such a long time, we started calling it a flaminstay.
What do you call a baker with a cold?
Coughee cake.
“What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!”
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
What do you call a big Irish spider?
A Paddy long legs.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
What do you call a strong pumpkin?
A Jacked-o-Lantern.
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
My new Halloween cookies are bringing everyone back for more!
I call them boo merginues.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
Strawberries have berry good eyesight because they are packed with a lot of Vitamin See.
Julius Caesar: "Brutus, that's a very nice dagger, is it new?"
Brutus: "Thanks, and yes, they had a sale at Traitor Joe's."
A chap goes to see the doctor with salt on one ear and pepper on the other. The doctor says, “You need to start eating more sensibly”.
This joke is like the time I slipped and fell into a salad.
Corny on the Cobb.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
People argue that the Romans were wrong to crucify Jesus
Personally, I think they nailed it.
Campground bathrooms are always behind the times.
They're all past tents.
What spread do astronauts use on their toast?
. . . Space jam
Witches are always wand-ering around…
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden Seizure salad
Dad Bee left. Mama Bee calls out ...
Honeycomb home!
What do you call it when a raven marries a crow? A conspiracy to commit to murder.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
"IT’S A LIEEEEE!!"
"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
What do you get if you cross a ski instructor and a vampire?
Frostbite.
Which dinosaur slept all day ? The dino-snore!
What is it called when a gardener covertly listens to foliage falling in the fall?
Leaves-dropping.
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